Say Anything
by Dr.Iceheart
Summary: A song on the radio lead Korsak and Jane to a talk about love and when he find out that she had never told her best friend that she loves her and Jane is forced to confess that she can't because "love" is not enough to express her feelings for the doctor, he start to encourage Jane to take a risk and confess her love to Maura. Based on the song "Say Anything" by Anderson East.
1. Chapter 1

**Say Anything**

**Disclaimer: Jane and Maura don't belong to me. I don't own anything. You can ask my parents.**

**A/N:**** As the summary says, this is based on "Say anything" by Anderson East and Jill Andrews because everytime I hear this song I can't help but think of rizzles. So I made this thing. And I really hope that you like the thing and that let me know what you think, just try to be gentle**** if you are going to criticize. Also, english it's not my first language so it there's some mistake, I apologize in advance.**

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They were coming back from interrogate a suspect. Korsak was driving very slowly to Jane dismay. They had an argument before but Korsak just throw his rank at her and now she was sitting at the passenger seat. They didn't have anything to talk about so Korsak just put up the volume of the radio.

The soft voice of Jill Andrews and Anderson East singing "Say anything" came through the sound system of the car.

Jane wasn't really paying attention to the music. She was thinking about how much paperwork she needs to do before going home.

Korsak on the other hand begun to tap the steer wheel at the rhythm of the song, paying special attention to the lyrics while driving them back to the precinct. He was actually intrigued about the lyrics. Clearly something important needs to be said and by the sound of it, it was a romantic song. Maybe the guy wanted to propose with the song? He keeps listening, until the very end of the song.

_And I can't wait another day to say the words that I always wanted to say_

Here it comes…

_And Darling, I pray for you to feel the same way_

Come on…

_All I want to say is_

Is…..

_I love you_

"What? That was it?" He made a face, not believing what he was hearing. He puffed saying "Kids these days."

Jane looked at him surprise at his outburst. Nothing had happened on the road. There were no kids. Right?

"What's wrong with you, Korsak?" she asked almost laughing at the expression on the face of the old detective.

"This song it's unbelievable!" So this was about a song? _Really?_

"Sorry, I wasn't paying that much attention. What's wrong with the song? It seems pretty nice to me."

"Are you serious? Did you hear the lyrics?" He asked without understanding why Jane didn't saw his point.

"Uhhh.. No?" She knew was she was getting into by asking that. Probably Korsak would start to rant about the lyrics and how the songs the kids listen these days are mostly about sex and drugs and cars and blah blah blah.

"This guy spend all the song basically saying that he has something important to say and the girl encouraged him to tell her and he says that he just hope that she feels the same," he was so frustrated.

"Uh so?" Jane really didn't see what the point was. The lyric didn't sound that bad.

"So, he spends the all song preparing her and at the end all he wanted to say was that he loves her! Can you believe it?"

Korsak look at her with his eyes wide open. Jane couldn't suppress the laugh at the expression and the ridiculous argument.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she said, trying to control her face, "for some reason this may be a problem with you because…"

"Because apparently he was in a relationship with her and he had to go through all that trouble to just tell her that he loves her? You don't suppose to throw all that just to tell _that_ to someone!"

Jane couldn't believe it, they were really discussing a song?

"What's wrong with it? Maybe he wasn't ready to tell her before. Maybe he was waiting for the perfect time. Or maybe he thought that he may lose her if he confesses his love." _What?_

"The perfect time? Are you kidding me? There's no such a thing as 'the perfect time'! You got to tell the people you care about that you love them while you still can." Korsak said. "What if, for some reason, he didn't saw her again? Life change in an instant and you got to tell them the importants thing while they can still hear you. Had you ever thought about it?" She looked at Jane with a questioning expression on his face.

Of course she has thought about it. She had thought about it many years ago when she came home after her partner's funeral. And several weeks after that. She kept thinking about how she didn't told him enough how great he was. A great partner. A fantastic friend. She thought about how he never told him how much she loves him. Still she didn't do anything about it. She thought he knew.

"Jane?" Korsak said again, waiting for an answer.

She was lost in her thought and was caught off guard at her ex partner question. "Huh?"

He noticed that Jane was in another world. And he knew in who she thinking about. He was thinking the same.

After the longest car drive according to Jane, they arrived at the precinct (_finally_) and while Korsak parked on the front of the building, Jane was praying internally for him to stop this conversation. Love wasn't really her favorite topic. What was the point of loving someone if you couldn't be with her? _Her._

As they were ready to get out of the car Korsak couldn't help but notice the change in Jane's face. It wasn't a face of regret or grieve or memories for what she was thinking. It was a face of… love. So at some point something change and they weren't thinking about the same person anymore.

He saw it as the perfect time to push some strings. He knew in who she was thinking about this time, too. He could see it in her eyes. She had this special look that was reserved for just one person. He knew her well enough to recognize it. But he also knew that talking about it was like walking on thin ice.

Jane started walking faster to the cafeteria thinking that if she hurried enough, with all the people around them, he would finally drop the topic.

There was no such luck. Korsak started to walk faster trying to catch her pace. "If you never see someone you truly care anymore, wouldn't you like them to know how much you care? How much you love them?" He told her almost out of breath.

_Damn. I tried_. "Uh... Yes, I guess..." Just as they were reaching a table, her mother approached them. "I mean, I tell my Ma that I love her all the time." It was a desperate try to change the destiny of the conversation that she sensed he was trying to guide and she was desperately trying to avoid.

"Yes you do, because she is always persistent to remind it too." He looked at Angela's direction with an apologetic look and ordered just a coffee for him and Jane, hoping for she to left them alone so he could continue, "But what about other people?"

In perfect timing, the distinctive clicks of someone's heels could be heard entering the other end of the cafeteria and walking to them, "Oh! Just in time!"

She gave him a dead look in the eyes that he masterly avoided. He was used to it anyway.

"Doctor Isles, for example."

_Please don't._ The dead look hadn't worked and she was now almost pleading with her eyes. Unfortunately, that didn't work either.

"What about me?" Maura said cheerfully looking between the Sergeant and her friend as she aproached their table, trying to decipher the expression on Jane's face.

"Would you like to sit with us for a little while?" Korsak asked completely ignoring Jane's glare.

"Of course sergeant, what's wrong?" she answered while she moved a stool a little closer to Jane and sat between the two detectives.

"Nothing particularly wrong, we were just talking about love." Says Korsak nonchalantly.

"Really?" She said raising a perfect eyebrow at Jane's direction, receiving a nod. "Love it's one of my favorite reactions!"

"Oh god. Here it comes." Jane said softly with a hand on her forehead as her friend started to recall the scientific facts about love.

"Actually it's a conjunction of more than one chemical reaction. People often associate it with the heart and I've never really understood why, the process actually occur in the brain due to the action of endorphins-"

"Maura," first try.

"- and other neurotransmitters like phenylethylamine-". No luck.

"Maura," tried Jane again a little louder.

"- dopamine and-" It wasn't working. Maura was too engrossed in her little world full of science and fascinating things and-

"MAURA!"

"-Norepinephrine." Maura finished in a much lower tone of voice just to finish the idea. _Finally._

Korsak watched the scene unfolded in front of him with great amusement as all the cops on the cafeteria turned to look at them after Jane's outburst.

Jane rubbed her eyes, sighed and explained, "We weren't talking about the love as a reaction. The old man here, was talking about it as a feeling."

Almost perplexed, Maura just stood there staring at her best friend. Her best friend who absolutely hates the word _feelings_, hates to feel them, express them and even more talk about them, was talking about the strongest of all.. with Korsak?

_Wait. What love has to do with me? Did Jane told him something? About... me? It can't be, can it? _

She felt like hours had passed before she spoke again, "There's something you want to tell me? Last time we talked two hours ago you weren't in love with anyone". Jane just groan and tried to hide her face behind her hands. Wouldn't be great if the earth could just magically open and eat her?

Jane opened her mouth to respond, but before a word came out of her mouth Korsak was talking again, "No, not the _in love _kind of love. Just.. love. And how important it's to say the people you care about that you love them while you still can."

Maura was still confused. They weren't working on a passionate murder or something like that and she didn't understand the point of the topic, "May I ask where all this conversation is coming from?"

"Just a song that we heard on the radio"

"Oh"

"Korsak is worried and all frustrated because 'kids these days don't express their feelings'" said Jane, mocking him.

"Hey don't laugh! It's true. When I was growing up, if you loved someone you just told them, that way you could start a healthy relationship without hiding anything and saving you the trouble to write a whole song just to tell them that, because, let's be honest, he wasn't saying anything else about how he felt."

"Yeah, you just 'tell them', that's why you were married 3 times. So sure of your feelings."

"You are missing the point here"

"Which is…"

"Be honest with the people about your feelings!"

Maura was still a little confused and looking back and forth between the detectives. "I thought you weren't talking about a romantic relationship."

"We are not!" said Korsak getting more and more frustrated with the time. He needed accelerate this, "You for example, how often Miss I-don't-like-to-express-my-feelings here has told you that she loves you?"

"Korsak," tried to say Jane as a warning.

"I…" Maura was trying to think about it.

Korsak noted the thoughtful expression of her face and decide to help her, "let me rephrase it, how many times Jane has say it to you. Just give me a number."

Maura's face didn't change. She just kept thinking but couldn't remember. She couldn't lie without breaking into hives but she did what she did best: deflect, "I.. Jane has her own ways to express her feelings," At the suggestive face that Korsak did she clarified, "I mean I know that she cares about me by the way she acts and protects me and all that kind of stuff."

"Hey, Jane is right here!"

Korsak just ignored her and continued questioning the doctor, "We all know how she is, but that's not what I asked," he said almost with a playful tone. He knew he had caught her. He has the feeling that, unlike to everyone else, maybe Jane was a real softie when it came to Maura, "How many times has she directly told you that she loves you?"

"Uhh.." _Think, Maura, think._

Jane look at her expecting to hear what the doctor was going to say, although she already knew the answer.

"None," she finally said with a whisper and her head down. Korsak wasn't sure he had heard correctly.

"What?"

Maura raised her head and repeated a little louder this time, "None."

Jane just closed her eyes and sighed. She couldn't see the disappointed in Maura's hazel eyes even though her friend hadn't turned her head in her direction to look at her.

"Not even once?" asked Korsak again, he just couldn't believe it.

She looked down and shook her head. "Excuse me. I… I have to go"

"Maura don't-" Jane tried to say but the doctor just raised her hand as she walked away as fast as she could from the café.

"Oh man" says Korsak, with his eyes closed, trying to digest what had just happened.

"See what you did?" asked him a very angry Jane.

"What _**I**_ did? Are you kidding me?" and again some of the cops that were around turn to look at them. It was quite a show. Jane had to admit that she wasn't expecting an outburst like that. He tried to continue in a much calmer voice, "That woman right there has been your best friend for years! YEARS! She is the person that has sat right by your side every single time that you've been stupid enough to hurt yourself. Every. Single. Time. She wouldn't even stand up to go eat something or change of clothes, your mother had to bring her a change of clothes every day until you woke up. She is the only one that was capable to put up with you when you were being a jerk to everyone. She has been with you all the time. And I've seen how you treated her sometimes, but I've always thought that it was just something between the two of you. Like some kind of joke. That's just how you are. But this? I mean.. You've been friends for years and you have never told her you love her? You, more than anyone, know how important is for her to feel loved, and you failed her. I mean.. I'm sorry, I knew that sometimes you could be kind of stupid, but I didn't know you could be THIS much stupid."

And with that he stood up and left the café as well, leaving a very stunned Jane sitting with her mouth agape open in an empty table.

What had just happened? Did Korsak really told her all that? Korsak? She had never seen him so pissed in all the years that she knew him. What was his business anyway? She knew that she had never told her best friend how she felt, how much she appreciate her and every day she thought of a new way of saying it. But she had found other ways of telling Maura that she cares for her. She actually did it everyday by remembering her to put on her seatbelt or asking her to text when she got home late at night to let her know that she is safe, or just dropping by at the morgue at lunch time with a salad when they were working on a hard case because she knew that Maura wouldn't leave until she had a lead or something for them. That was _her _way of telling 'I love you', but actually saying the words? No. She couldn't. She couldn't just say it in a way when she actually wanted it to mean another completely different thing. Well not that much different, just… more. _God, so much more_. But she couldn't risk it. She just couldn't lose her.

Jane was so deep in her thoughts that she didn't listened her mother approaching her until the older woman put a hand on her shoulder, making her jump. She turned her head to look at her mother, still with her mouth open.

"I'm sorry sweetheart I didn't mean to scare you. But I just couldn't help but overhear what just happened."

Jane just closed her eyes and took a deep breath, "ma, not you too. Please."

Angela raised her hands in surrender, "I just wanted to tell you that I love you and I know that you love her too. I don't know why are you making such a big deal of telling her just that, but that's up to you. Just… honey, Korsak's right. Sometimes there's no other next time, there's not a second chance, sometimes is now or never. I'm not trying to be dramatic," Jane looked at her and tilted her head rising her eyebrows as saying 'really?', "I'm really not, baby. I'm just trying to open your eyes. They are just three words, but that three words could mean so much to her."

Jane closed her eyes again. Should she tell her mother why she just couldn't do it? She could use some advice after all. But.. her mother?

"Ma," she took a deep breath again and looked at her mother in the eyes, "I just can't tell her. They are not just three words to me. I.." She paused to reconsider _what _was about to say and to _who_ she was about to say it.

Too late. Her phone decided that exact moment to ring.

"Rizzoli," She answered it with a sigh, "okay, I'm on my way." Saved by the bell.

"Ma I have to go." She said standing up.

"I know baby. Just think about it. We'll find another time to talk." _Or not._

"I will. Thanks Ma, I love you." She said giving Angela a kiss on the cheek.

"I know that too," she answered while Jane stood up and started walking out. "And I also know you love her, too," Jane was able to hear just before she exit the café.

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**A/N 2:** **So that's the thing. I hope you enjoy it and if you like it I appreciate if you could take a second and let me know to see if I should continue this or not :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Say Anything **

**Chapter 2**

**A/N: First of all, thank you to all of you who took interest in this story, especially to those who took the time and left a review for me to continue this. Secondly, I'm sorry that this update took so long, I tried to revise every paragraph to make sure I didn't made -many- mistakes. I tried. I already wrote the third chapter so the next update shouldn't take that long. Anyway, I hope you like this.**

**Disclaimer: Jane and Maura and all the characters from the show that might be mentioned in here don't belong to me. I own nothing.**

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By the time Jane got to the crime scene, Maura was already on her knees next to the body with Korsak standing right beside her while Frankie looked around searching for anything that the killer could've left behind.

She came closer to the body without taking her eyes from her best friend. Damn, _why did she have to look so beautiful today?_ The sun reflected in her honey blonde hair and from where Jane was standing she could see her beautiful profile, the perfect angle of her nose, the way her eyes closed a little, her brows narrowed and her lips moved slightly to the side. This was Maura Isles on pure concentration.

Jane just stood there staring at her mouth because '_how can you not? Have you seen those lips? Their perfect color, their shape and the way they move so seductively when she talks and-'_

Korsak cleared his throat when he noticed that Jane hadn't even asked him about the body yet. She shook her head lightly trying to focus and walked to stand at the other side of the body, opposite to Maura. Bad idea. Maura had decided to use one of those ridiculous tight dresses that she loved so much with an ample neckline and -from where Jane was standing now- she had front seats for the doctor's cleavage. And.. _wow._

She was having difficulties to concentrate no matter where she stood. A hard time trying to focus when Maura was around. Damn Korsak and his stupid words that brought those feelings to the surface. They'd been perfectly fine all this years hiding in a remote space of her mind. Now she couldn't suppress them anymore, they had come with vengeance in full force and she didn't know how much time she had before they explode and cause a war.

Korsak begun to mention the facts they had about the murder in a vain attempt to drag Jane out of her thoughts. She was still focused in her best friend. _Her beautiful best friend. And her beautiful legs and the way her muscles flexed as she stood up. And those calves so toned after years of high heels._

Maura staggered a little as she was standing up so Jane offered a hand to help her but Maura just ignored it. She was perfectly capable of standing by herself. She didn't need anyone else. Even less Jane, who noticed her weird attitude but just peer at her with a quizzical expression that Maura once again ignored.

Instead, she crouched to pick a few thing that were left on the ground, put them in her bag and stood up one again to face Korsak, "I'll do the autopsy as soon as I can. I'll let you know when I have a cause of death".

"I'm pretty sure that the all the knife's wounds on her stomach had something to do with it", said Jane trying to lighten the mood. The air in the scene was so tense that could be cut it with plastic scissors.

Jane realized that her attempt of a joke was a bad idea as soon as her best friend turned her head and met her eyes with a scowl. She felt like if the daggers that were coming out of those beautiful hazel eyes hurt more than the knives probably had hurt the woman on the ground.

"You can't possibly know if her wounds were caused by a knife or if that was exactly what lead her to death. If you could, then my job here would be useless and I like to think that all the years of my life that I spent studying to come to do this weren't a waste of time. So I'll take this body to the morgue, do the autopsy, find the exact cause of death and then I will let you know, so you can do your job. But first you have to let me do mine, _detective_."

Silence.

If Jane had though that the daggers before had hurt she was wrong.

What was going on?

She stood slack-jawed staring at Maura. She didn't understand what had just happened or why. She tried to recall if she had done something wrong to bother that much her friend but she couldn't think of anything. The last time she'd seen her was in the cafe that morning and when Maura left she seemed a little doleful but not angry. Why was she being so hostile now?

Maura made a nod toward Korsak and walked away and Jane was so stunned that failed to said anything, she just stood there still looking to where Maura had walked away.

"You really screwed it this time, Jane." Korsak said in a disapproving tone.

She turned around and pointed a finger in his direction, "you don't even talk to me." And then look back around to look at the retracting blue prius.

Korksak raised his hand in surrender and told her in a much lower voice, "this is not my fault and you know it. Grow some balls Rizzoli. You are missing your chance."

She looked at him glowering, anger and confusion written all over her face, "You have no idea what are you talking about and I'm tired of your nosy self. You are starting to look like my mother."

And with that she walked to Frankie to see what he got, before throwing a "I'll see you at the precinct" at him and Korsak and walking away.

She needed to find out what the hell was going on.

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On the way back to the precinct, Maura was taken aback by her own outburst. She had not allowed herself to think about the conversation from that morning, but after that verbal aggression at Jane she couldn't avoided anymore, it was obvious that the detective would come to see her asking for some explanation later and if she didn't start to think and find a logical explanation for her sudden explosion, it would only made things worse.

The true of the thing was that deep inside she knew what had happened but didn't want to admit it. If she did, that would only make her feel -more- badly with herself. But it was that or made Jane pay for it.

The true was that she couldn't understand how she hadn't realized before that Jane had never told her how she felt about her. Maura had told her a couple of times but her friend had never said that words back, and now she felt stupid for not noticed and was starting to overthink everything. That maybe Jane just hangs out with her out of pity, that maybe she didn't really care about her but didn't know how to let her down easily, and -the worse of all- that maybe Jane didn't love her.

And she didn't want to admit how much _that_ hurt her.

But at the same time it was weird because she felt loved by Jane. How could every moment they had spent together been false? Was she so blind in her own feeling for the detective that she was mixing things?

Maura was confused. She had a lot of questions and didn't have a way to answer them. And that take her back because she wasn't used to that feeling. And she realized that it was precisely that lack of answers what made her angry, but not with Jane. She was mad at herself.

And it didn't matter how much she needed answers, she wouldn't ask Jane for them. She wouldn't ask why she had never expresses her feeling. She wouldn't beg for love. She never did and she'll never will. There was a limit. Even for her.

And if Jane came to her asking for an explanation, that's exactly what she'll -try to- tell her.

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When Jane walked into the precinct like an hour later, she was struggling with going directly to the morgue and talk with Maura or do it later.

Maybe now was for the best, she knew that she wouldn't going to get any work done with Maura's words still running in her head.

But on the other hand, maybe later was for the best, that way she could think better of what to say and probably Maura would cool down by the end of the day and talk to her would be easier, free from the heat of the moment.

_'Yes, later is better. Later it is'_, She decided as she approached the elevators. But clearly her mind had other better ideas because instead of pressing the button up, she pressed the one that would take her directly to the morgue and when the doors opened, she step inside without noticing.

She was biting her nails looking at the ground when the doors opened to reveal the morgue floor. _Fucking mind_.

But well, now that she was here she could actually talk this out now and end with whatever was going on to continue her day without the headache she'll probably get if she kept thinking about it.

As she walked into the autopsy room, Maura was just inspecting the body and didn't even look up when she hear the door. She probably recognized the heavy sound of her boots.

Jane kept walking until she was next to the body across from Maura, just like at the crime scene, but this time they were both standing. Even then her friend didn't look up. _Why does she have to make this so hard?_

"Maura," she tried. Nothing.

"Can you to look at me, please?" She tried again.

The doctor raised her head and look at her in the eyes.

"Thank you," Jane said with an smile, but before she could said anything else, Maura looked down again. Damn it.

"Maura, I really need you to talk to me. What was that outburst at the crime scene? Why did you snapped at me like that?" when Maura still hadn't looked up, she tried in a much softer voice, "Maur, I really want to know what's going on."

A "so am I" escaped Maura's lips in form of a whisper before she could stop it.

"What was that?" Jane asked as she stooped a little and moved her head trying to catch the doctor's eyes.

"I'm kind of busy right now, detective," answered Maura with a cold tone. Cold as the ice that Jane felt running through her veins slowly freezing a new part of her body by every second that Maura didn't look at her.

"Maura, come on! Stop calling me detective and tell me what's gotten into you!" Jane said raising her voice. She was getting frustrated but she came for an explanation and wouldn't leave without one, "Sweetie, what's wrong?" she tried using that soft voice again, hoping that it'd do the trick this time.

And apparently it was successful because Maura raised her head and look at her with a fake smile.

"Nothing. There's nothing wrong." Okay, lying couldn't be considered as successful.

"You know you are my best friend and I can tell when you are lying, right?"

"No, I don't know." Maura keep talking with that tone that was freezing Jane. But now she wasn't making any sense.

"What?" Jane asked as she walked around the table to stand beside the doctor, grabbed her by the hands and turned her around to look at her.

Maura's face hadn't even changed a little bit since she raised her head and it was getting harder for the detective to read it.

"I meant that I don't know if I am your best friend."

Okay, now this was getting ridiculous.

"Maura what the hell are you talking about?" Jane was getting desperate by the second. She didn't understood where was all this coming from. It couldn't be from the untold 'I love you', it had to do with more than that but she couldn't figure it out.

Maura puffed, moved her hands to free them from Jane's soft grasp and turned to face the body again, "Hmm. And you call yourself detective." _Damn it, bitchy Maura was a piece of work._

"That's it," Jane said taking Maura by the arm and leading her to her office.

Once inside, Jane closed the door behind her and walked to kneel down in front of Maura, who had sat on the couch.

"Honey, we are getting nowhere and this is getting tiring," she begun, testing her luck by taking Maura's hands again, "I need you to look at me and tell me exactly was gotten into you. Is this because of the conversation we had earlier with Korsak?"

When Maura kept looking purposely to the ground and didn't answer her, Jane took it as a yes, "I really don't know what this got you so mad. You know exactly how I am. I'm not a sentimental person but I think that I've let you know multiple times how much I care about you. And it kind of hurt me that you doubt of my friendship but-"

"No, Jane. I don't doubt of your friendship," Maura finally give in when she saw the desperation in her friend's eyes and she realized that she was right, this was getting nowhere, "I really don't. I'm sorry, I just.. The situation of this morning took me aback and I started to overthink everything. I know that you care about me and I know how you feel. I'm really sorry for how I treated you before."

"It's okay, Maur. I understand why this happened, but that doesn't mean that I will accept it. I don't like you to doubt of us," _Us?!_ "-I mean me. I don't like you to doubt about me and our friendship. I promise I'll do everything I can to dissipate all your doubts and make sure that they never appear around your head again."

"You don't have to. That's really not necessary, Jane."

"I know I don't. I want to_._"_ It's the least I can do since I'm a coward and can't tell you how much I actually love you._

Maura grinned a little, "well, it's not that hard." _Yes it is._

Jane smiled a little and stood up to sit next to Maura without letting go of her hands, "I'll work on it. I promise." She said with a squeeze at Maura's hands.

"Thank you," replied Maura with that big and beautiful dimpled smile that was reserved just for Jane.

Neither of them knew how much time had passed since Jane walked into the autopsy room, but it felt like couple of seconds and a couple of hours at the same time.

"I have to go now. Korsak will kill me if I don't appear soon." Jane said as she stood up and without thinking gave Maura a kiss on her forehead that neither of them alluded. It was either like it'd never happened or like they were completely used to it.

When Jane reached the door, she turned around to look at Maura again, who had stood up as well and was stretching the invisible wrinkles of her scrubs before go finish the autopsy. Those damn black scrubs.

"Maura," Jane said and her friend look at her with the same smile that before, "I.." She tried to continue but was completely at lost at the hopeful look that she saw on those bright hazel eyes.

She could point that out as the exact moment when she knew that if she ever said to Maura how much she loved her, she'll make sure that it was in the most beautiful and perfect way that she could think of. "-I'll see you later." She finished and quickly turned around and walked away before she could see that smile disappear into a disappointed face.

Little she knew that Maura had just smiled bigger -if that was even possible. She didn't doubt of her friend's feelings anymore. How could she? Maura was a expert at reading emotions through faces and even though she'd always had a hard time trying to read her best friend's face, the smile that Jane had on her face when she was standing at the door and the way that it reached her eyes closing them a little and forming a little wrinkle in the corners was pure adoration and she trusted that jane would tell her how she feel when she is ready.

Just then her phone buzzed indicating a new message and she felt like her face would break if she smiled bigger when she saw Jane's name across the screen.

_"I'm glad not mad at me anymore. Bitchy you is not my favorite you. JK. Have a nice afternoon ;) "_

Yeah, she knew that Jane will tell her those three words when she was ready and that was fine. And if she never tell her, that was fine too. She didn't need them. As long as she had these little details she was fine. This was enough.

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**A/N 2: As always, I appreciate if you had time to left a review. At least pass by to say yes or not to this. And please remember try to be gentle if you are going to criticize.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Say Anything**

**Chapter 3**

**Disclaimer: Jane and Maura don't belong to me and blah blah blah.**

**A/N:**** Hi! I swear that I tried to update sooner but med school and life make it a little harder. Thank you so much to all of you that had demonstrated some kind of interest in this story. It means a lot, so I really appreciate it. I hope that you like this chapter. Let me read your thoughts :)**

* * *

Jane was sitting in her desk with her elbows on the table and her chin resting above them. Her mind was going a thousand miles a minute and every single thought revolve around one single person. Maura Isles.

A week had passed since the fight and late conversation with Maura and things had been great. For their own sake -and the sake of their friendship- they moved on just like before. They had come to a silent mutual agreement of pretend like the question Korsak made that morning at the cafe hadn't happened at all.

Of course, not so deep inside, they both were aware that had changed them, but neither of them was willing to do something about it. _Yet._

Even though Jane had accepted that their friendship was all she would get for now, she couldn't help but think how great life will be when -if, Jane. If- they took the next step in their relationship. How great it would be get home at night together and wake up every morning in each other arms. Days would be always good if that smile is the first thing she saw in the morning and the last before sleep. They would spend the free weekends sleeping late, and watching the games cuddling on the couch -she would be willing to even watch some bored documental if that would mean cuddle time for them.

_When did I stopped thinking about her and started thinking about us?_

And what an 'us' they would be.

And what about their future kids? God. She didn't even wanted to start to think in a little Maura running around the house, With her soft curly blonde hair and her beautiful hazel eyes and her little face full of freckles, just like her mother.

Jane was in love with that thought. But in order for that to work, she would have to get the courage enough to actually tell Maura about her feelings. But again, she couldn't risk it. It was too much to lose. But at the same time, if it worked out, it would be _so_ much to win.

She was in the middle of that conflicted thought when was suddenly interrupted by Frankie, who came storming very loudly into the headquarters with a box of donuts, gave one to Korsak, left one on in front of her and then walked to his own desk to devour the rest of the contents of the box.

"Hmmm", Frankie murmured with her mouth full and sugar all around her face. "These are so good. I really love this new deli down the street. I like this donuts a lot more than the ones from the old place. You should be thankful that I considered bringing one to each of you." He took another bite. "God, I really love them."

"That's not the same." Jane didn't even realize that she had verbalized that thought until Frankie spoke again.

"What?" He said absently, not really caring for her sister' words.

She snapped out of her thoughts and turned to look at him. "What, what?"

"You said something."

_What was the point in deny it?_ "Oh, yeah, I said that it's not the same."

Frankie had just take another bite so he was with his mouth full again and was trying really hard to swallow to ask her what was she talking about.

Meanwhile, Korsak, who was sat on her desk and had witnessed the whole situation, noticed the face that Jane had when she spoke the first time. It was the same face she had in the car before she went out that morning. That Maura-Exclusively face.

When he saw that Frankie was too busy eating and still hadn't asked Jane what she meant, he spoke. "What's not the same?"

She sigh and pointed absently to her brother, "he first said that he really likes the donuts, but then he said that he loves them, as affirming his first statement, but that's not the same."

Frankie chuckled and spat out a little, "you are spending too much time with Maura, you sounded just like her," he said as he cleaned his mouth.

Korsak, on the other hand, just kept looking at her without saying anything, hoping for her to elaborate that thought, but she just stared back at him sure that he understood and wouldn't ask anything else. Even less in front of her brother.

Frankie, who finally swallowed, raised his head at the silence to look at them without understanding what was happening.

"Oh-kay," he found Jane's face kind of amusing and was now interested in what her sister had to say. "Care to elaborate for us, Janie?" He encouraged her in a playful tone.

Jane turned to look at him. "They are two completely different things. I, for example, like... Someo-thing. Something." She closed her eyes and took a breath trying to concentrate and express her point without revealing much, "I really like.. it. But not because of that I'll throw myself to it without thinking about the consequences for us. I could like anything. But love is different.. Love her is different." She said that last part a little softer, almost dreamy and didn't even realized that she wasn't speaking about an 'it' anymore and had started talking about 'her', but neither Korsak or Frankie pointed it out so she assumed that they hadn't noticed. "You just don't _love _someone. They have to sneak into you, take all your organs and reduce them until all of them could get inside your stomach and before you realize, you'll be around afire with an 'I love you' that burn your throat."

Silence. An utter and complete silence.

Then Jane realized what she had just said. She'd just came out to her brother. Kind of.

She look at him with wide eyes, waiting for him to say something and wondering how long it would be before her mother found out about this. Then she turned to look at Korsak as asking for help. In vain. _Of course_. He was as stunned as Frankie was.

Jane felt like years had passed before Frankie cleared her throat. "Wow. To talk like that about love you have to be more than head over heels with someone or with a really broken heart. And honestly, I don't know which one is worse."

_That was all? He wasn't going to said anything? _

"Frankie-" Jane tried to explain but before she could finish her sentence, he interrupted her.

"Don't worry sis, I just like the donut. My organs are fine." He said with a little smile as he stood up and walked to the break room.

She turned her head to look at Korsak but he was with his mouth still open – just like her.

When she finally got out of her almost shocked state, she decided that just leave things like that wasn't wise – _right, cause you are making so much wiser decisions this last time_\- and need some kind of answers from Frankie, so she stood up as well and followed him to where he had just disappear at the break room.

She found him at coffee maker preparing some to pour in her mug. She stood by the counter at the other side of the room.

"You really aren't going to say anything?" Jane didn't even know what she expected to hear as an answer to that question.

"About what?" He asked with his back to her.

"About what just happened."

"What's wrong with it?" He said nonchalantly.

_A million things_.

Jane needed more than that. An opinion. A speech. A yell. Something. She needed to know how he felt about it.

She sighed, "Frankie-"

"So, which one is it?" He interrupted her again, "Crazy in love or with a broken heart? "

A silence fell on the room. Jane didn't know if she wanted to admit which one it was because that might lead to some conclusion from him and wasn't sure if she was ready for it.

"Crazy", she murmured anyways, with her head down.

He finally turned to look at her with a little grin on his face. "Yeah, that's what i thought."

"It doesn't bother you?" Jane was almost praying inside to get a 'no', she wasn't prepared for a yes. All her life, Frankie had always been a huge part of her support group and if he didn't was there for her this time she wouldn't know how to handle it.

Frankie stared at her. Her sister didn't need to say the exact words of what she was asking, he understood. And –to be honest- he wasn't surprised. Little Janie had never been the 'lady' kind of girl, but he also knew that she had to have some fears regarding it, so he needed to make this like it wasn't a big deal, "What? That you feel that way? Nah, I'm happy for you."

She smiled at him, asking to herself why she had doubts about him in the first place "I'm sorry I didn't told you before. And that it had to be that way."

"Don't worry." He waved his hand as he sipped his coffee. "We are good."

They look at each other smiling; they had come to a mutual and silent understatement.

They looked at each other smiling; they had come to a mutual understanding.

Frankie finally moved from where he was standing to sit at the table at the middle of the room, patting the chair next to him for her sister to join him.

"So," he said taking another sip of her coffee waiting for her to sit beside him. "Are you going to tell me who is she? Do I know her?"

"Yes, you do." She answered him without giving it another thought. He deserved to know.

"I don't even know why I asked," he chuckled.

_There's no way that he could know, _"What do you mean?"

"It's pretty obvious." He shrugged like it was nothing.

Jane couldn't believe how blind she'd been. "How come everyone seems to know about this except me?"

"Well, you were always a little slow when we were kids," he said in a playful tone, earning himself a punch from his sister in his arm.

"You idiot," she told him, both laughing now.

It was good for the atmosphere surrounding them. Along the years, her talks with Frankie had always been like this, a little serious, a little playful. It was how they deal with things.

When the laughter subsided, he got back to the serious yet soft tone that she was expecting. "So, what are you going to do about it?"

"Nothing." She didn't even have to think of that answer.

"What do you mean nothing?" Her brother looked at her like she was crazy.

She sighed, "What can I do Frankie? It's too much."

"Too much what? Feelings? Happiness?"

"Too much to lose." She said with a little sorrow in her voice that he immediately picked.

"Janie-"

"What if I risk it and I lose, Frankie?" Defeated, she looked at him directly in the eyes.

"What if you risk it and you win?"

Jane didn't say anything; she didn't have an argument for that.

"When did you become so wise?" And there it was the playful part again.

He chuckled, "While you were too in love with your best friend to notice anything else around you."

That made her smile again. It was amazing how he do it.

"I gotta go. I just came to pour some coffee in this," he said pointing at his mug.

"Thank you, Frankie."

"It's okay." And after giving Jane a kiss on her forehead, he left her alone again.

She was still at there when Korsak came in to pour some coffee for him too. Jane had tried to avoid being alone with him because they hadn't talked directly about the topic since the morning at the cafe and she was absolutely sure that if she stayed that would be the first thing he would probably bring up.

Well no, she wasn't _that_ sure, but why took a chance?

He walked to the counter with her back to her, "Jane-"

"I'm not talking about this right now, Korsak," she told him firmly as she stood up.

"Jane-" Korsak tried again while he turned around to face her, but before he could ask anything else, Jane was already gone.

* * *

"Hey." Jane walked in the autopsy room where Maura was elbows deep in the thorax of the man lying in the table.

A wide smile appeared instantly on the doctor's face. "Hi!" Surprise evident in her voice, "what are you doing here?"

"I'm happy to see you, too."

"I didn't mean it like that. I'm sorry." She put her arm out of the thorax and leaned on the table. "I'm just surprised; I thought you were interrogating some suspects."

"Nah, we don't have any lead. You found anything?" Jane asked as she moved to stand in front of the doctor.

"Not yet. But I already took blood examples and I can deliver the results myself to you when they are ready because I think that I need a little break. And then I'll make Susie take you the results from the tox screens later while I finish the autopsy."

She spoke like hundred words a minute but Jane didn't care. This was just what she needed. Maura digressing. Maura's voice. Maura.

"Is everything okay?" The doctor glanced at her friend through her goggles.

Jane looked at her and shook her head. "Yeah, sorry. My mind was somewhere else." _On you._

Maura kept staring as the brunette seemed lost in her thoughts again. She took off her goggles. "That's why you are here?"

"Nah, I'm here trying to hide from Korsak and her stupid questions."

"Oh." Maura tried to hide her disappointment; she didn't have reasons to feel like this. Jane always came here when she was trying to avoid something or someone. This wasn't new.

Of course, she wasn't as subtle as she thought trying to hide her emotions, Jane knew her too well, "And I thought you could use some company, too." Jane added with a full smile, showing her dimples.

The previous face dissipated completely from Maura's face, replacing it with a smile just as big as the detective's, "Yeah, I would like that."

Jane sat at the table next to the one that was currently in use, swinging her legs like a 5 year old as she watched Maura put her goggles on again and continued working in the comfortable silence that embraced them.

It never ceases to amaze her how Maura could be with half of her arm with blood and body contents and still look beautiful and classy. And she never thought that she could use the word "elegance" to describe how her medical examiner did the autopsies. _Her _medical examiner

She closed her eyes while a '_don't go there_' repeat itself in a loop inside her head. Instead, she tried to focus on something else. Something less.. distracting.

The scrubs. Those black scrubs that weren't even tight, but could still make her look so hot. But then again, Maura could wear a trash bag and still look good because she had this fantastic curvy figure and Jane had a lot of imagination to picture in her head what was under it and- _Don't! Forget the scrubs and Maura's body._

Her shoes! Yeah, her shoes and how different they were from the designer high heels that the doctor was accustomed to wear. These shoes were simpler and didn't add much height for her and that made her look so tiny and cute and Jane just wanted to hug her because she knew that her height difference would leave Maura with her face at the crook of her neck and her lips could brush against her pulse point and- _No! Don't even go there._

The body lying in front of her wasn't that much interesting and even less attractive so she refused to start thinking about it. Besides, it was a dead man, just.. No_._

Just in that moment something shine from somewhere between all that blood.

The scalpel! Yeah! The scalpel and how it cut so easily the flesh in front of it like it was paper and how skillful was Maura with it and how she managed it like it wasn't the sharpest of blades and how steady she kept it with those strong hands.

The hands. _No! No! Turn around! Abort mission!_

This wasn't working. She couldn't just focus on anything and she would go insane if she tried any longer.

"I probably should get back to work. Go over the things we got again." She didn't even look at Maura's face. She knew that if she did, that would be her ending.

"Okay, I think the blood result should be ready soon, so I'll bring them to you in a while," answered Maura, oblivious to all that had happened.

"Okay, see you later." And with that she headed upstairs.

* * *

As the day passed, Jane found trouble concentrating everywhere she went. That had led her to take a walk to try and clear her mind a little.

She had been fine all week, but the talk with Frankie was setting everything on fire again. _If this will happen every time that I tell someone about this I'll be burned before I have the chance to confess it to Maura._

Now she was back at the bullpen and Korsak followed her as soon as she passed beside his desk in direction to the break room. He had seen her distracted all day and thought of it as the perfect opportunity to try and have a talk. That could lead him to some answers or some hell. With Jane you never know.

He found her in front of the coffee maker, pouring some of it into the filter before start it. It was perfect. She would wait until it was ready. That give him a few minutes.

"Is everything okay with Frankie?"

She closed her eyes and sighed. _Damn Korsak_. "Perfect."

He tried to think how to approach the subject and when he realized there it wasn't a soft way he just blurted, "Jane, why are you doing this to yourself?"

She sighed, "Vince, please-"

"I just can't understand it." He moved to stand beside her.

Jane turned around to lean her back on the counter and crossed her arms. "What do you want me to say?"

"It's not me who I want you to say something."

She rubbed her eyes. "I can't, Korsak."

"You can't what?"

"I just can't tell Maura that I love her because it's not just that!" _Well, that scalded quickly._

"Then what it is? Enlighten me!"

Their conversation had –not so slowly- elevated their tones and if they didn't stopped, probably the whole bullpen would hear it.

"I'm in love with her! I love her so much more than my best friend."

"That's it?" Korsak chuckled. "That's the lie you've been telling yourself? I already knew it. You'll have to work better than that."

"You.. what?" She looked at him with her eyes wide open and a dumbfounded expression.

"Come on, Jane! I suspected something before but with what you said in the morning about love it was pretty clear to anyone who had heard it. And now that I think about it, you can't possibly think that nobody else sees how much you two love each other."

"You were right before. You don't understand." She shook her head.

Korsak raised a finger and smiled. "I actually do. You are scared that she doesn't feel the same. But believe me, I can see that she does."

Jane puffed. "You can't possibly know that."

As he laughed, she turned to look at him glowering. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing, just.. you sound just like her right now." His laugh finally subsided. "Listen; how do you pretend to know if she does feel the same if you don't give her a chance?"

"It's not that simple." She sounded defeated.

Korsak shrugged. "It seems pretty simple to me."

"No, Korsak. It isn't that simple!" Jane was getting frustrated. The sergeant had developed an amazing deftness to get under her skin.

"Why are you making this so hard? What are you so afraid of?"

This shit was getting old and Jane had neither the time nor the desire to continue with this. "Vince, I really don't want to keep talking about this. I already did with Frankie and I'm getting tired."

"Okay," He said with his hands up in surrender, "If that's what you want, fine. I won't push it, but it's your bad. I was just trying to help. I'll keep bothering you another day, and I promise that I will until the day you talk to me and I can put some sense into you until you tell her how you feel." Jane looked at him wearied. "And I'm not scared of how you may treat me, because I'm not doing this for me, and you know it. You are tired of this topic and I'm tired of seeing you always walking at the opposite direction of your happiness sign. So keep running and I'll keep screaming at you from the bleachers to turn around and run to the other side."

Jane kept her head down all through that last part of Korsak's speech –a speech that she wasn't expecting, now she didn't know how to answer, but she was starting to understand all this pressure from him.

She looked at him with watery eyes. "I get it, and I…" She sniffed, "thank you for looking out for me."

He gave her a nod and raised his hands to wipe her eyes with his thumbs. "You know I always will."

She smiled gratefully and came closer to him to give her a hug. There was always something so heartwarming in his embrace, it felt like hugging a huge teddy.

When they finally pull apart, he took her by her arms softly and moved them both to sit.

"Are you going to tell me what got you so afraid?"

She gave in and murmured, "Losing her."

"What?"

She sighed and met his gaze, "Losing her. I'm afraid that if I tell her how I feel she would reject me and I'll lose her."

Jane was trying hard to keep her tears at bay, but they had accumulated in her eyes again and she couldn't control them anymore. They started to fall.

"Oh Janie." He put her arms around her shoulders and brought her closer to him. He didn't even want to remember the last time he saw Jane Rizzoli cry.

"I can't lose her, Vince", she said between sobs with her head in his shoulder.

"You won't, Janie. Trust me, she feel the same for you."

"How can you be so sure?"

"How can you not?" Korsak said pulling away to look her in the eyes, "Look, I really don't like to snoop in other's lifes," he paused to see the tilt of her head and the ´really?' from her mouth, but it never came. "But I just can't stand here and watch so much love wasted. If you could just see the way that Maura looks at you when she thinks that no one is watching her." He closed her eyes briefly and allowed his memory to bring back that image, "God Jane, you wouldn't have any doubt by now. It's so plain to see. She loves you as much as you love her."

"That's not possible," she said as she wiped her eyes.

He snorted, "Why do you have to be so stubborn all the time?"

"I'm not being stubborn." Jane stood up and started pacing front of him from one side to the other.

It was Korsak that tilted his head and look at her unbelievable this time.

"You really don't understand anything, do you? " She deadpanned.

"I already told you that I think I do."

"No! You don't! It's not that simple! You said that you know that I love her," she started pacing again and continue talking as she ran a hand through her hair, "damn, everyone in here thinks that they know, but it's not that simple. I-"

He looked at her expectantly.

She put her hand in front of her eyes before turning to face him again, putting both of her hands in the back of the chair in front of her, a desperate try to hold into something. She thought in Maura and took a deep breath.

"The love I have for her is.. It's more that I can put into words. I don't even know how to begin to describe it." She chuckled. "When I see her, damn, even when I think of her I smile so big that my muscles hurt. When I see her eyes I feel like I could lose myself in them and I wouldn't even care. She takes my breath away every time that I see her. And then she just have to look at me and that's enough to bring me back to life. Her smile has been what pushed the air into my lungs since the first day I saw her. I learned to love her so much in so little time that terrified me, but she fit so perfectly with what I've never looked but apparently always needed that I don't think I would have it any other way. I don't just like her; this is not just a little crush. I love her more that I've never thought it was possible."

Jane closed her eyes as she expected his answer, but it never came. When she looked at him again, it was so see him with his mouth hanging open and looking at a point past her shoulder. She turned around to see what was more interesting that the answer he had been pushing from the last week and –she guessed- finally got.

The colors drained from her face and her knees trembled.

The door was open and in there -with a file in her arms and her mouth slightly open in surprise- she came face to face with the bright and hazel eyes of the one and only Maura Isles.


	4. Chapter 4

**Say Anything**

**Chapter 4**

**Disclaimer: These characters don't belong to me. **

**A/N:**** I'm really sorry for the delay of this chapter but I had final exams these past weeks on med school and I was focused on that. The good new is that now I'm on vacations (wohoo!) so I should be able to post more frequently. **

**Thanks for all the reviews on the last chapter, now here's this :)**

**.**

* * *

_She turned around to see what was more interesting that the answer he had been pushing from the last week and –she guessed- finally got. _

_The colors drained from her face and her knees trembled. _

_The door was open and in there -with a file in her arms and her mouth slightly open in surprise- she came face to face with the bright and hazel eyes of the one and only Maura Isles._

...

_This couldn't be happening._

"How long have you been standing there?"

"I'll leave you two alone" Korsak said as he stood up. When he was passing beside Jane, he stopped and put a hand in her shoulder, gave her a sympathetic smile and then he was gone, closing the door behind him.

They stood there staring at each other, Maura still close by the door and Jane now leaned in the table. Neither of them knew what to say or how to say it.

It seems like years had passed in silence before Maura decided to talk.

"You never told me you were so in love." Her voice was soft, almost a whisper.

Jane lowered her head and closed her eyes. She hadn't thought of telling Maura the truth, even less that it would be this way. But the cat was now out of the bag, so she took a deep breath and prepared herself to face the music. "Maura, I-"

"Were you afraid of what I was going to say if you tell me that is a female?" Maura interrupted her before she could even begin to explain and this change in direction of the conversation was setting a completely new purpose of it.

"I-" Jane raised her head and looked at her confused. "What?"

"Jane, I don't care whom you love." Maura thanked all the deities -in which she didn't believe- that the chill weather had made her wear a scarf today. The hives in her chest would be impossible to ignore. "I've never heard you speak so much about your feeling for someone else and if she makes you happy I'm happy too." She was trying really hard to keep her tears at bay. Unsuccessfully, obviously. They still hoarded in her eyes, even though they hadn't fell yet.

Jane sighed. "Maura, it's not what you think." She shook her head and corrected herself, "I mean yes, but no.. not in the way that you are thinking." She hated herself for not knowing how to express what she was trying to say.

Maura looked at her kind of confused, the detective wasn't making much sense but she let it pass.

"Jane it's all right, you must have your reasons why you didn't tell me. It's fine." She said as she sniffed.

The brunette moved from where she was leaning on the table to stand in front of her best friend and looked at her looking for some kind of clue on Maura's face, some kind of 'go ahead', a green light. Anything.

"If everything is as fine as you say then why are you crying?"

"Because is just nice." The blonde woman sniffed again. She was losing the battle against her lacrimal gland. "Hear that you feel so much for someone. It's nice. I just wish.." She trailed off, thinking. This was a huge step and she almost gave it without thinking. She almost let herself step into a void.

Maura look at the detectives in the eyes and misunderstood the expression of her face like the one of someone who begged to not hear what the other person was about to say. She thought that Jane didn't want her ruining her moment.

But the true of the things was that the expression on Jane's face was pure hope.

"What? What do you wish?" Jane's words were almost a whisper. Neither of them realized that they had come very close to each other, their faces just inches apart. _Oh it would so easy to just kiss her now._

"Nothing." Maura said finally, shaking her head, taking a step back and turning around. "Nothing. Just.." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "She must be very lucky."

Jane passed around Maura and stood in front of her again taking both of the doctor's hands in hers and moving her thumbs to caress them. The look on Maura's face was making almost impossible for her to keep the words inside herself. _Maybe it's time._

"Maur-"

"I should go check if the lab results are ready." Maura pulled her hands away from the detective and turned around to leave but Jane caught her by the wrist and turned her back around to face her, making her bodies collided into each other.

They look at each other eyes and Maura wasn't sure if the detective was really stealing glances at her lips or it was just her mind playing tricks on her. She decided for the last and -to avoid further confusion- took a step back.

"No Maura, please. Don't do this to me again." Jane's eyes were pleading.

"Do what?" Maura asked confused and with a frown.

"Leave me."

"What do you mean leave you? I could never-"

"You did it that morning," Jane interrupted, "that morning at the café, remember? When all of this started. We were talking and then you just left and didn't even let me speak. I tried to stop you but you ignored me and kept walking."

Of course Maura remembered. She couldn't find a way to get out of there sooner once that Jane's lack of expression of her feeling had settled deep inside her.

"I had to go finish the report from the case we were working on." _Again, thank the all the deities for the scarf._

"No, Maura," Jane said firmly, "when you went to the café you had already finished it because it was in my desk. And now you don't have to go check if the results are back because you told me that Susie would bring them to me as soon as she has them. I don't know if you learned to lie or if the scarf around your neck had something to do with you trying to do it." _Damn all the deities_. "But please don't do it anymore, Maur. Don't lie to me."

Maura lower her head and looked downcast at the floor. Suddenly her shoes had become a very interesting piece. She didn't want to look at Jane in the eyes. She felt ashamed of being caught, guilty for trying to lie to her friend and stupid for trying to lie to a detective no less.

Jane took her chin between her index finger and her thumb and lifted it to meet those beautiful hazel eyes that made her forget everything she was talking about. "Can you just.. stay with me for a while in here? I just wanna talk to you."

Maura didn't want to be there. She just wanted to go home. She didn't know if she was capable of hearing Jane talk about her feeling for someone else. It would be too much and she didn't see the point of that kind of torture to herself.

"I really should go to see why Susie is taking so long in the tox screens." She tried once.

"There's no need to. I'm not in a hurry now." Failed.

"We should not monopolize the breakroom. Others detectives may want to use it as well." She tried a second time.

"There's no one around and we have a coffee machine at the side of bullpen. By the way do you want coffee?"

Maura was thinking what else she could say as an excuse, because telling Jane that she just didn't want to stay would lead to more questions and possibly a visit later to her office looking for answers and she really didn't want that.

"It looks like you run out of excuses." Jane said with a little grin fixed in her face.

The doctor stared at her and Jane was able to see her expression changed from deadpanned to defeated.

"Yes."

"Yes you do want coffee or yes you run out of excuses?" Her friend asked with a playful tone.

"Both." She finally gave in.

"That's what I thought." Jane smiled at her as she walked to the table and pulled out a chair gesturing Maura to sit and then moved to the counter to make some coffee for her and her friend.

Jane took it as an opportunity. Maura knew she was in love but didn't know who it was, didn't know it was her all along. She could try to see how her best friend was feeling about it. If Maura feel the same way about her, she could maybe turn on some jealousy sparkles. Taste the waters. _It couldn't hurt her, right?_

Maura had sat on the table in the middle of the room and was looking at her friend working on her coffee. When Jane reached up to get some mugs from a cabinet above and her shirt lifted a little showing a little glimpse of her taut abs Maura couldn't stop the urge to lick her lips. Now she had her bottom lip between her teeth and didn't realize how hard she was biting it until she tasted blood in her mouth_. Idiot._

Jane begun to pour coffee into the mugs on the counter with her back still to her friend.

"She doesn't know." She said finally after a long silence, but Maura was still distracted checking her out.

"Hmm?" She shook her head to get out of her thoughts once she realized that the detective had spoken.

"The woman I.. I'm in love with. She doesn't know."

Maura looked at Jane's back. This was the conversation she was trying to avoid but now that her friend had started it, ending it abruptly would only raise suspicions on the detective and she couldn't do that.

"How can she not know?"

"I haven't told her." Jane said nonchalantly.

"Why not?"

"I don't know." She shrugged and turned to the table with both coffees, passing one to the doctor and pulling back a chair to sit next to her. "Maybe I'm scared."

Maura was taking a sip of her coffe and almost spat a little when she heard those words, wiping her mouth delicately with a napkin afterwards. Actions that didn't pass over Jane, who was now definitely staring at her best friend's lips.

"In all the time I've known you I've never hear you admit that you are scared of something." Said the blonde. "What are you scared of?"

Jane looked at her directly in the eyes. "I'm not sure. Losing her, maybe?"

Maura leaned a little closer and her next words were spoken softly but challenging. "How can you lose something that you don't actually have?"

_Touché. _

"I.. You are right. I don't have her. But I could," she thought for a second, "eventually. If I lose her, I lose that chance too."

"You never will 'eventually' have her if you don't risk taking the first step." Maura said logically.

Unconsciously Jane gazed at Maura's lips before looking at her eyes again. "But what if she doesn't feel the same?"

With each sentence they had gotten closer and their faces were -once again- now inches from each other, breathing the same air.

Jane's heart was beating so fast that she felt like it was going to explode. She could smell Maura's perfume in full force and it felt like her scent was embracing her. She could felt Maura everywhere and was pretty sure that her friend was able to hear her heart beat now.

"She must be crazy for not loving you." Maura whispered, stealing glances at Jane's lips too.

_Bingo_.

Jane wasn't looking at her anymore; her gaze was completely focused on her lips. "Maura.."

And then Maura realized what she had just said and looked at her friend with wide eyes before leaning back abruptly.

_Crap. _

"I really have to go now." She stood up to walk away as fast as she could. "I'll see you later."

"Maura!" Jane stood up as well trying to catch her before she left but Maura was already at the door.

"I'll let Susie bring you the reports when they are ready," she said looking over her shoulder, almost running now.

And Jane ran after her. They were so close. There's no way they could bring the topic back if Maura run away once again.

"Maura wait!"

Maura had reached the elevators and was desperately pressing the down arrow as if that would make it come faster.

"I really can't, Jane. I'm sorry," she said pressing harder into the bottom before Jane could get to her.

Too late. Jane was already by her side, grabbing her by her upper arms and turning her to look at her pleading eyes. "Can't what Maura?!

"Jane! There you are!" An inopportune Korsak yell as he turned the corner of the hallway.

Jane closed her eyes tight. He could not have a worse timing.

"Not now Vince," she said clenching her teeth while Maura keep pressing the bottom harder -if that was even possible- and silently thanked Korsak for his interruption.

The ding announcing the arrival of the elevator seem to sound with an echo in the hallway and when Jane hear it she looked at Maura and tried to hold her tighter without hurting her, but the doctor just had to move a little her arms to get free and step into the elevator.

"Maura please," Jane tried again, "you can't what?" She repeated putting her hand on the door to prevent it from closing.

"Jane we got a suspect." Interrupter Korsak again getting impatient and without understanding what was going on and why was Jane so desperate.

"Can't wait a little longer?!" She almost yell at him and signalize with her fingers for him to go away, unconsciously raising her hand from the door of the elevator, which made it closed and finally left with Maura inside of it without an answer for her.

She tried pressing the down button of the wall again to see if the door opened but there was no such a luck. It was gone.

"Dammit Korsak!" She said punching the wall and storming away.

* * *

"How could I be so stupid?"

Maura kept repeating that question to herself over and over again as she paced back and forth in her office. That wasn't supposed to happen. Jane was in love with someone else. She couldn't choose exactly that moment to let her know of her feelings. What kind of friend would she be if she ruined her best friend's happiness like that? _And god, Jane sounded so happy._

But they almost kissed -or at least that Maura thought. She was sure that it wasn't just her, Jane had come closer as well. That couldn't have been part of her imagination. _Right?_

But then again maybe Jane had caught up in the moment and didn't realize what she was doing. What she was causing inside of Maura. She'd set free all those butterflies and even though Maura knew that there was no such a thing -_because it's impossible to grow lepidopterans inside your stomach_\- she couldn't bring her mind to believe it.

This wasn't a thing about chemical reactions. There wasn't any neurotransmitter or enzymes or any other component. This was just Jane in her purest form running through her veins opening all these little jails and freeing these insects inside that seem to flap her wings harder against the walls of her heart, making it beat a hundred times stronger and faster. And even though Maura was well aware that all of this was wrong and against all that she'd learned in her life, her mind was completely disconnected from it and she was starting to get crazy because all of this was completely new to her. She didn't even know that she was able to feel this much and didn't know either _when_ she had fallen so hard for her best friend.

"Why did I let it go this far?" She said over and over again desperately because she couldn't stop what was happening -didn't know how. And the worst part was that she wasn't even sure if the wanted to, it was almost masochism, but she wouldn't be able to run away from Jane. She was unable to do that to her friend. It wasn't her fault after all. She wasn't the one who mixed things. Jane's mind was absolutely fine.

"How could I be so stupid?" She repeated a last time hitting her forehead with her palm as a few tears insist on falling and soon enough it wasn't just a few tears but so much more.

It seemed like hours had passed before Maura finally calmed down and decided to go home. There wasn't much she could do here anyway and her cry had wasted all her energy.

She reapplied her make up and went looking for Susie to let her know of her departure.

Just as expected, Maura found the senior criminalistic in the lab examining the last examples to finish the report that was due to deliver soon.

When Susie hear the door and raised her head to look at her boss at the door, the worried expression on her face let Maura know that she wasn't as successful as she though trying to cover her broken heart.

"Doctor Isles are you okay?"

"Yes Susie, I'm fine, thank you. I just wanted to let you know that I'm heading home."

Susie look to the wall watch over the doctor's shoulder just to confirm that it wasn't even lunch time yet and the blonde never left this earlier.

"Uhh.. okay? Are you sure you're okay?" She knew better than to ask her boss why she was leaving so early. It wasn't really her place.

"I already told you I'm fine." Maura's voice was hoarsely but she still spoke firmly. "I just have a little headache, I'll probably feel better with a little rest."

"If you said so.." Said Susie, still not convinced.

"I do." She passed her hand over the nonexistent wrinkles in her dress and stood straight, transferring the cold of her voice to her posture.

"Please let detective Rizzoli know when the lab results are ready."

"Of course," Susie hurried to say. "Don't worry about it."

"Great. I'll see you tomorrow Susie."

"Take care, Doctor Isles." Susie said as Maura turned around, but the blonde woman just left without any other word

* * *

That afternoon found Jane sitting at her desk again, tired and with a headache that made her want to die.

It had been such a long day but unfortunately not because of work. The day had had a little too many conversations for her liking and she didn't feel well. Aside from that, she had been in a bad mood all day. But it wasn't for Frankie anymore. Not even Korsak. It was Maura. It was always Maura. The responsible of all of Jane's feeling was Maura. The good, the bad and the others. Maura.

And today she had been so close of getting something from the doctor. There was a hint of something there but she needed to be sure. The problem was that she didn't know how to do it.

"I'm sorry about early." Korsak said suddenly, getting her out of her thoughts. They hadn't talked about what happened by the elevators early, they'd limited their interaction to work and to interrogate the suspect they had found.

"Not now, Korsak." Jane waved her hand but didn't even turn to look at him.

"Okay, I just wanted you to know that I'm sorry."

He was apologizing but something inside Jane made her feel like she was going to explode if he kept talking.

She counted to ten and then turned her head slightly to the right to look at him. "It's okay. We had a suspect. It was just bad timing."

Korsak just nodded in response and Jane turned back to her desk again to try to focus on her work. She just wanted to finish soon to head home, maybe even go down to try to talk to her best friend, given that she hadn't heard from her since the morning –not that it was weird considering the circumstances, but still.

The sergeant kept his gaze fixed on the brunette and let a couple of seconds pass before asking what had been eating him most part of the day. "Is everything okay with doctor Isles?"

But that was the final straw for Jane. She didn't even had the time to try to control her reaction, she threw the pen on her hand to the desk aggressively and turned herself fully to face him, glowering. "Does it seems like is everything okay?!"

All the people that were surrounded her turned to look at her outburst. She had to admit that it had been a really long while since she had lost the control that way on the bullpen.

Korsak kept looking at her, just as surprised as his colleagues and raised his hands in surrender.

Jane took a deep breath and waited until everyone's looks turned away before rub her eyes and talked again in a much softer voice. "I'm sorry Vince. I'm just frustrated."

He understood. He always did.

"What happened?"

"Maura happened." Jane sighed.

If she was completely honest with herself, Maura had happened a long time ago. She happened the first they met and since then she had been locked inside a tiny box in Jane's heart, but with all the recent events Maura was struggling really hard to get out of that box and was making the detective lose all control. And to Jane Rizzoli there was nothing worse than losing control.

"I figured. I meant what happened in the morning."

"She didn't know that I was talking about her. So I took the opportunity to taste the waters. See if I could withdraw something from her, you know?"

Korsak look at her surprised. Maybe this meant that Jane was willing to fight for her happiness and will be finally able to see that the doctor feels just the same as her and finally they would stop with this stupid blind game and be together for the sake of everyone. He was absolutely sure that for Jane there was no happiness without Maura and the same worked for the doctor.

"Could you?"

Jane thought for a second. She didn't know if the balance after that conversation was more good than bad. "I'm not sure."

"How come?" Korsak asked intrigued.

"I don't know Vince. I don't know if she was sad because I didn't tell her that I was in love with someone or if she was sad because it was someone else or she was upset because apparently I'm a lesbian."

"And what are you going to do now?

Jane sighed. "I don't know Vince, I really don't know."

* * *

Maura was now sitting on the couch of her living room tucked with a blanket and a glass of wine in her hand repassing the day's events and repeating in her head the conversation she'd had with Jane on the break room. And she tried to remember it all but somehow the only part that keep repeating itself in her head was precisely the part that she tried to forget. The words from which she ran away.

"_If is all so fine as you said then why are you crying?" _

"_Because is just nice. Hear that you feel so much for someone. It's nice. I just wish.." _

"_What? What do you wish?" _

"I just wish it was me." Maura whispered sobbing. And even though her voice was low enough for just her to hear, those words seemed to echo in the empty room, getting back to her ears over and over again heavier and louder every single time.

* * *

**A/N 2:** **Let me know what you think :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Say Anything**

**Chapter 5**

**Disclaimer: Jane and Maura don't belong to me. I don't own anything. **

**A/N:**** Hello! First of all I want to thank all of you who started following this story after the last chapter. I love that you like it. And a special thanks to all who took the time to leave a review, they all made me smile so thank you for that. I'm sorry if this took too long, I don't have excuses. But I'm already halfway through chapter six so the next update shouldn't take too long. Also, if you had some suggestions to this I'm open to listen as long as you do it in a respectful way. Anyway, I leave you this and I hope you enjoy it :)**

_._

* * *

That night was one -if not the most- longest night that Maura could remember. She passed the hours trying to decipher what was the best course of actions for her, for Jane and their relationship. She needed a way, an exit to get out of this horrible situation without much damage to her feelings.

She was used to being alone. She spent most of her life alone and she suffered the consequences for it. But now she'd let people in, she let Jane in and penetrate every empty space of her heart and now -unconsciously- she was crushing it from inside with the force of a hurricane.. But that suited her well, there wasn't a better word for describe Jane's arrival to her life. She was a hurricane.

The first hours of the night, Maura's conflicts lay on the uncertain of what hurt her most: being alone without feeling anything for anyone or let people in and allow all this feelings to embrace her.

But at the end she figured that -even if this hurt her- she didn't regret it. And now she was used to the warm that all these people brought to her life and she wouldn't change these last few years for the world.

It was this same family and friends the ones who made her realized that she was important, she mattered. And she had learned to love herself as a person and as a woman.

That last realization was what made her decide that she should stay away from Jane a little while to try to figure out what she was going to do. She needed to decide if was time to move on and accept that they will never be together or if all this was really worth all the risks and their friendship.

Until then, no Jane. That was sure.

* * *

The next day Maura found out that even though he purpose of trying to avoid the detective was clear, do it was a lot harder than she thought. They inevitably found each other everywhere and Maura had to come up with an excuse every single time to run away without being too obvious. And she succeeded. They didn't have a case that day so that meant no crime scene and no morgue visits because Jane was supposed to be working on her paperwork. That night, when Jane suggest take out and a movie, Maura declined saying that she was tired and just wanted to go home and sleep. Easy way out.

The next two days weren't much different from the first one. And Maura thought that her purpose was going well, but the truth was that Jane had realized that something was wrong since day one. It wasn't common for Maura to decline a movie or a late dinner, but the detective let her be, she would find out what was going on anyway.

The thing is that patience wasn't really Jane's strength and she tried to ask Maura very subtlety what was going on but every time they were somehow interrupted or the doctor avoided the question.

But by the fourth day, when she texted Maura at lunch time to see if they were going out to eat and the doctor declined again saying that she was busy, Jane decided that it was enough.

Without other thought and really annoyed she stood up and went to the morgue. This was ending now.

She stormed into the morgue only to find it empty. So unless Maura was doing some paperwork -which she doubt- the doctor wasn't as busy as she had said.

Jane knocked at the closed door of Maura's office and step inside without waiting an answer from the other side and what she saw confirmed her suspicions. Maura was doing shoe shopping.

"Why are you avoiding me?" Jane asked even angrier than before to a very shocked Maura.

This was the confrontation that the doctor was trying to avoid and as long as she could keep doing it, the better would be.

She recovered quickly from her stunned state and looked at the detective with a serious expression. "Hello Jane."

"Hi." Jane had realized that she'd been rude and she sighed as she said so, but then continued with her angry tone,

"Why are you avoiding me?"

"You think that the way you stormed in here slamming doors and demanding answers looks well?" Maura tried to keep her tone neutral, she knew that she was dilating this and that would only make the detective angrier

Jane crossed her arms and looked hard at her friend. "I shouldn't have to do that if you weren't avoiding me."

"That sounds a lot like a guess."

"Then answer my question!" Jane was getting a little more frustrated with every exchange of words. Apparently, Maura had a special ability to get under her skin.

The doctor looked at her and pretended to think for a second. "What question?" She blinked and gaze at the brunette with the most innocent expression she could muster trying to play dumb. She was expecting a report from Susie so -hopefully- they would be interrupted soon.

Jane stomped her foot like a five years old. "Maura!"

"Jane."

"Stop! Can you answer the damn question?" She was getting frustrated and the doctor knew that she couldn't keep dilating this if she didn't want an even angrier Jane yelling for the all building to listen.

Maura sighed. "I'm not avoiding you."

"Yeah," Jane puffed, "You see, you are not wearing the scarf now, so I can actually see the hives on your neck"

Out of reflex, Maura immediately put her hand to her neck trying to block it from Jane's view.

Jane gaze at her and raised an eyebrow. "Are you going to tell me the truth now?"

"I don't know what you are talking about." Maura said nonchalantly.

Jane was giving up; she felt that coming here was a real waste of time. Whatever was wrong with the doctor, she wasn't ready to tell her but Jane wasn't leaving the morgue without at least letting Maura know her piece of mind.

She sighed putting her hands on the desk in front of Maura and leaned in to speak closer the doctor, her voice more low and raspy than ever.

"You know what bothers me, Maura?" She asked to her stunned friend. "These last couple of months every time that something happens to you I have to almost beg you for you to tell me. I know that I should let you come and talk to me when you want to but I can't do that because whatever is going on with you is affecting our friendship. I don't get why you are hiding things from me and i don't know what it is you pretend to do but whatever it is I hope you decide soon, because I really don't like this situation." She stopped and grabbed Maura's hand to continue in a much softer voice, "We didn't used to be like this, honey. I just want to know what's going on."

Maura just looked at her, fighting with herself to not begin to cry. This was hurting Jane as much as it was hurting her, but she couldn't keep going like before because that would destroy them. So she decided that she had to keep going with her original plan until she decided if she wanted to put everything in line for her happiness or if she wanted to stay in this safe place. But she had to do it more subtly because hurting Jane was the last thing she could do.

"I'm really sorry. I guess I didn't realize what I was doing. It just… Happened."

"Happened? It just happened?" Jane looked at her with her mouth hanging open; she couldn't believe the words that had just let the doctor's mouth. "Are you kidding me?"

Maura kept her voice calm, she herself didn't understand from where all this calmness was coming from.

"I don't know what else I can tell you. I'm not even sure how we get to this so I can't give you any other answer. And I'm sorry if it's not what you were expecting."

"Maura-"

Just then there was a knock at the door.

"You have to be fucking kidding me" Jane whispered frustrated.

"Come in!" Maura said as Susie's head appear in the doorway.

"Doctor Isles I got the results for-" She trailed off at the death glare that Jane was giving her.

Jane turned to Maura, "How come every time we try to talk someone has to interrupt us?!"

"I'm sorry. I'll leave you two alone." Susie said as she took a step back.

"Yes." "No." Said Maura and Jane at the same time.

The detective -surprised- turned to look at her friend. "Maura-"

The blonde ignored her and looked directly to Susie. "Detective Rizzoli was just leaving."

"No I wasn't!"

"Yes, Jane. You are." Maura said firmly but with pleading eyes.

Jane turned to look at Susie again, left her intimidating tone aside and spoke softly, "can you give us just a minute, please?"

And the senior criminalistic nod at her and turned to leave but her boss' voice stopped her. "Susie-"

"Maur I promise it would be just a minute." Jane interrupted her.

And the doctor gazed at those pleading brown eyes and found herself incapable of saying no. She looked at Susie again and nodded, indicating for her to leave.

When the door closed, Jane walked by the desk and took Maura's hand to make her stand up.

"Honey, I need you to understand that I'm not doing this to bother you. I just want to know if you fine. If_ we_ are fine."

A couple of eternal seconds passed before Maura answered. She stole a couple of glances at the detective lips before whispering, "We are fine."

Jane smiled at her and Maura felt all the butterflies inside her started to move at the sight of those dimples.

"We are?" Jane asked, still unsure.

And Maura just nodded, she felt incapable of doing more than that.

"Promise?"

"Yes, I promise." She whispered again with a little smile of her own.

Jane looked at her for a moment before turning to leave.

"Maur," she said as she turned around in the doorway, only go find out that the doctor hadn't take her eyes away from her. The words she wanted so hard to say were at the tip of her tongue but there was a knot inside of herself preventing her from saying them. She cleared her throat and smiled at the expectant doctor. "Thank you" she said, which light up one of those big smiles in the doctor's face that she loved so much. "I'll see you later," she said finally and then disappeared on the hallway.

* * *

Jane wasn't ready to go back to work just yet and -as long as Korsak or dispatch didn't called her- she wasn't really in a hurry, so she went to the café. Maybe a talk with her mother about random stuff would help to get Maura out of her head.

Well, no. But she could always try.

When she came in, her mother was busy attending some tables so she just ordered a coffee and sat at an empty table on the back.

She started to think of what just happened with Maura and what they had said. She went through her own words over and over again to see if she'd said everything good, nothing too compromising. But when she started doing it, she realized something different than that, something strange, something that hasn't happened before with anyone and started wondering if she had been always this way with Maura or it was a recent thing due to all the feelings that she was allowing herself to feel.

She was immersed in that thought when a hand on her shoulder and a throat clearing of a hoarsely voice get her out of them, changing her attention the man that had just taken a seat in front of her.

"Daydreaming much?" He raised his hand at Angela to order a coffee.

Jane sighed. "No, not this time. I was just.. thinking."

"Uh that's new," he said mocking her. "What were you thinking about?"

"Me."

He looked at her with big eyes and a bigger smile on his face. "Oh that's new too!"

"Korsak." She said in a plain tone.

"What? Were you thinking about me too?" The sergeant asked playfully.

"You wish." They shared a chuckle at the ridiculous conversation.

When their chuckles subsided she offered an elaboration of the topic, "I just talked to Maura and I was just sitting here going through our conversation and suddenly realized that a lot of the things I said didn't sound like me.. at all."

Korsak looked at her with a curious expression. "What do you mean?"

She leaned on the table to speak closer to the sergeant and that way prevent all the ears around them heard what she was going to say. "I sounded so.. patient and caring and.. sweet and cheesy."

The older detective laughed. "You just realized that?" She nodded and he laughed again.

"What are you laughing about?" She asked serious.

"It's just funny. Patient and caring is how you always act around Maura."

"No, it's not." Jane said obstinate.

"Yes, it is. You just hadn't noticed before because it's how you've always been around her."

She thought for a minute and she actually couldn't remember any time when she hasn't been that way with the doctor, but she wasn't going to admit that to the old man. "Okay, maybe. Let's pretend you are right, but what about sweet and cheesy? I've never been sweet with her. I've never been that way with anyone, ever."

"Well -as far as I've experienced- you can be very sweet when you want to."

"I never want to." Jane leaning back in her chair..

He raised a finger. "Except with Maura."

"But that's the thing!" They were finally getting to some point. "I don't want to either. It's just.. natural, I think. If that make sense."

Korsak smiled and took her hand. "It makes perfect sense. It's called being in love."

She retracted her hand and groaned. "Please don't start this again."

"Oh come on!" Korsak answered as he leaned back in his chair too. "We were talking fine, why you had to ruin this sweet moment?"

Jane looked at him impassive and crossed her arms again.

Korsak give up. "Okay, I know that you really don't like the topic and you hate to talk about your feeling and all that stuff. You've made it pretty clear."

"Thank you" She said, uncrossing her arms and leaning again on the table.

"But you already admit to me that you love her, you don't have to keep this façade in front of me."

Just in that moment, Angela approached them with the cup of coffee for Vince and luckily she didn't stay to talk due to the amount of costumers that were waiting for her, but the interruption she made was a well-timed silence moment for the detectives.

When Angela left, Korsak saw the lost expression on the younger detective's face and allowed the silence remain for a little while, allowing her a moment to think.

Just a couple of minutes had passed before Jane sighed and refocused her gaze on Korsak again. "I guess you are right," she begun, "I guess this is sweetness is part of what they called being in love. I guess that think about her all day, wanting to hug her all day, wanting to laugh with her all day, dreaming with the day I could kiss her.." she trailed off.

Korsak looked at her and couldn't get the smile out of his face. He had known Jane for years and he always wished her the best and right now he knew that the best was next to a certain medical examiner. He'd never heard Jane talk that way about anyone and was really happy that the detective was allowing herself to felt this way.

Jane chuckled. "I guess that it finally came that part of my life." Then she actually laughed and that made the older detective laugh as well. "I just feel so cheesy, so.. not me, but at the same time I feel so happy."

"And I'm happy for you." Korsak said, proud.

A comfortable silence passed between them again, both of them letting the moment sink in, enjoying the confidence and honestly.

"You think you'll tell her someday?" Korsak broke the silence and asked serious.

Jane sighed for the hundredth time since she sat in this chair. "When you asked me that the other day and I told you that I didn't know it wasn't because I just wanted you to drop the topic, it was because I really didn't know. I still don't. I know that she's worth everything and I love her enough to assume the consequences, but I'm still afraid of those consequences, you know?"

He cleared his throat and wait for Jane to look at him and make sure she was listening. "When I divorced my first wife," he begun, "it was complicated because we still love each other very much but we just didn't work well together so we decided that a separation was the best for both. And the day we signed the papers it was really hard because -like I said- the feeling were still there. And then, when we were saying our goodbyes she looked at me and told me '_You know what's the thing about broken hearts? They can only really break once, the rest are just scratches'_. And I thought that it was actually true and very smart of her to think that way.. of course I found out later that it's a quote from a book and not actually something she thought." They both chuckled before the old man continue, "the point is, if this thing between you two work -as we know it will- it'll be awesome and if it doesn't work it will hurt you just once. I think that –as you said- is worth the risk."

"It's not my heart that I'm worried about. It's hers. I might complicate her feelings and maybe she won't look at me or trust me the same way again. I really don't want to hurt you. If I do, this will be the biggest mistake of my life."

"No." Korsak said firmly, "The biggest mistake that you could make is being afraid of made a mistake."

"Is that from a book too?" Jane asked smiling trying to lighten the mood.

"You are missing the point." Tried unsuccessfully, obviously.

"I know. The more I think about it, the more I know that I have to tell her, so I think that I'm gonna do it. I'll tell her, but if I do it, it has to be in the right time."

"There's not such a thing as right time!"

"There is. I can't scare her off. And I need this for this to work. I'm of that few people that still think that an 'I love you' it's not anything, so it has to be done right."

Korsak gazed at her. "I'm really proud of you."

She smiled before rolling her eyes. "Thank you."

If she was honest with herself, Jane had to admit that she actually enjoy these moments with Korsak. Well, not enough to have them every day, but when they happened they were good. She admired his experience. He had gone through a lot sentimentally and he was allowing her to learn how to avoid some mistakes. And besides, he was the only person she could talk about the topic. She couldn't talk with her best friend for obvious reasons, she couldn't talk to her brother because that would be just weird and she couldn't talk with her mother because at their first conversation she would probably be asking who would carry the babies, so Korsak was her best shot and she was fine with it. Sometimes he put too much pressure on her but if it wasn't for him -and that stupid song on the radio- she wouldn't be this happy with herself now. Of course, she could be happier but it couldn't be now. It requires a little patience and work. She had to prepare the road. But of one thing she was sure: Maura was the love of her life and she was going to fight for it.

"Come on now, Romeo." Korsak stood up and extended his hand for her to take. "Let's go back to work if we don't want our asses on Cavanaugh's office."

Jane groaned and took his hand. "Don't call me Romeo."

Korsak chuckled. "I think that the singer of the song we listened the other day would be more appropriate, but I had no idea what his name is."

"Anderson East." She whispered, making Korsak stop in his tracks to look at her.

"Oh my god," he said blinking.

"What?"

"You searched for the song." Korsak smiled and Jane snorted.

"I have no idea what are you talking about." She started to walk out of the cafe.

"No wait, this is perfect." Korsak continue, playfully. "That's how you should tell her. You put that song on Maura's sound system in her house and waited for her all dressed up with dinner and candles. She will fall at your feet." He said dramatically putting his hand on his forehead.

"See? That's why none of your marriages worked." Jane remarked as she pressed the up arrow waiting for the elevator.

"Ohh!" He said faking pain and grabbing his abdomen, "that was low even for you."

She chuckled. "Shut up."

When the elevator arrived he put his hand on the door to prevent it from closing and signaled for her to go in, "Come on, Miss East."

Jane rolled her eyes before stepping in. Korsak followed her and the elevator closed it doors. Neither of them said anything else, even though Korsak was still trying to suppress a laugh.

Jane looked at him out the corner of her eye. "If you don't breathe now you're gonna suffocate."

And Korsak burst laughing.

She rolled her eyes. "I think I'll stick with Romeo."

* * *

**A/N 2:** **Let me know what you think :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Say Anything**

**Chapter 6**

**Disclaimer: Jane and Maura don't belong to me. I don't own anything. **

**A/N:**** I'm the worst. I have no excuses for the delay on this chapter so I'm sorry. I was trying to enjoy my vacations for a little while. Now I'm back to classes but I'll try to post soon. Thank you for all your follows and reviews, it means a lot, really. Now, here's this.**

_._

* * *

They didn't have the chance to talk to each other the rest of the day. Maura had already made the autopsy corresponding to their last case and handed the results to the team so now she didn't have anything else to do, meanwhile, Jane and the rest were still trying to close said case, so when it was time to go home, the scientist went without much word and Jane had to stay behind trying to think and looking for more clues. Maybe if her mind was more focused in the task at hand and not in a certain medical examiner, things would've been different. Maybe.

The next day Jane was entering the BPD when she spotted her mother and decided to go there and say "hi" if she didn't want to deal with the consequences later. It has been a couple of days since they had talked because apparently, Angela had a sixth sense that allowed her to say when something was wrong with Jane and she start to ask questions and that was the last thing the detective needed nowadays.

Angela's face lighted up when she saw her daughter approaching her.

"Hi, baby!" She rounded the counter to give a hug to the brunette and in a typical Jane way- she crunched her teeth.

"Hi ma," Jane said as she squirmed to get free.

Angela looked at her daughter with concern written all over her face. "Is everything alright?"

Damn sixth sense. "Why wouldn't be?"

Angela shrugged, "I don't know. You tell me."

"Really, Ma? You are the one asking."

"You have a really expressive face, honey."

"Whatever. I am fine. And I don't have an expressive face," she said pointing a finger to her mother, who just looked at her playfully. Jane rolled her eyes and in the process she spotted Maura entering the café. "I'm going to pour myself some coffee."

Angela followed her gaze and when she spotted Maura as well, she looked back at her daughter with a knowing smirk, "go ahead."

And Jane rolled her eyes as she walked away.

"Hey," she said as she stood next to her friend.

Maura looked at her with a smile. "Hi."

If Jane didn't know her, she probably wouldn't noticed the fakeness of that smile.

"You okay?" She asked, concerned.

Maura didn't even raise her head to respond this time, "Yes."

An awkward silence fall between them while they prepared their coffees. Jane keep looking at her from the corner of her eyes and was absolutely sure that something was going on but she wasn't going to pressure her to tell her now.

"So," Jane finally said extending the word a little too much, "about tonight's movie night, your place or mine?"

Maura didn't responded immediately and Jane thought that maybe she hadn't heard her, so she clear her throat to catch Maura's attention and ask again, but when she opened her mouth to speak the medical examiner spoke.

"Actually, I can't tonight," it was almost a whisper and she didn't raised her head to say it, so it was almost unlistenable.

"What?"

"Maura sighed and turned to finally look at the brunette.

"I can't tonight."

Jane looked at her with an unreadable expression on her face. "What do you mean you can't? It's Friday, we do movie nights on Friday."

"I know and I'm sorry, but I can't." Her words were simple and her tone kind of cold.

Jane sighed and put her cup of coffee down. She was irrationally angry. She was conscious that maybe for anyone else it wasn't a big deal, but for them it was. It has always been.

Fridays were their days and when one of them couldn't make it, the other one knew before, not the same day. Maura wasn't the kind of person that cancelled on the same day unless something unexpected happened. This wasn't her friend at all and she was pretty sure that this has everything to do with the conversation from the day before.

She looked down and rubbed her temple trying to collect her thoughts, "Maura I really can't do this anymore." She raised her head and looked directly to the hazel eyes in front of her. "We talked less than 24 hours ago and you told me that we were fine and now you tell me that you can't watch a movie with me?"

Jane's gaze was so intense that Maura felt intimidated. She felt like the brunette could actually see what she was thinking and that made her incapable to hold her gaze. She wasn't used to that kind of attention.

She turned back around to pour more sugar into her coffee, even though It was already sweet. Anything for a distraction.

"You are making a big fuss over this," really? "We are fine. I can't watch a movie tonight because I won't be home."

Perplexed was a little word for the state Jane was in now. "You are going out?"

"Uhh.. I think that if I tell you that I won't be home it means clearly that I'm going out," Maura said with a chuckle trying to lighten the situation and the mood that Jane was adopting.

Jane closed her eyes, "I swear that sometimes regret that you ever learned how to be that sassy."

Maura was proud of herself and the smile that was on her face when she looked at her friend was genuine, the same beautiful smile that Jane liked so much and couldn't help but reciprocate.

When the brunette spoke again, it was much softer than the first time. _Damn the effect of that smile_. "Where are you going?"

Maura shrugged, "I don't know."

And that was all for sweet-Jane. She knew that Maura like to be in control, she wouldn't be going out with someone if she didn't know where she was going, that screamed 'danger' and woke up the -always present- protective side of Jane, "What do you mean you don't know, Maura?" She began raising her voice a little but she didn't wanted to cause an scene either, "How can you go out without-"

But Maura interrupted her before she could continue with her speech, "He said that he will text me when he find the perfect place to go out."

And everything made sense now. How did she not seen it before? "You have a date."

"Uh.. Yes, kind of." The truth was that Maura had a meeting with one of the members of the board from the isles foundation and that was far from a date. He was just an old man who manages finances. But the opportunity was too good to pass; she wanted to know what would be Jane's reaction to this. Of course she had dated in the past and the detective knew it, but that was before all this change. She knew that it wasn't right, that Jane was in love with someone else –another woman- but she wouldn't lose anything with trying.

_Kind of?_ Jane blinked for a few seconds before asking Maura what did she mean, but apparently 'a few seconds' were too much because the doctor spoke before her.

"Maybe you can ask your girl to hang out." Maura's face was now stoic and her tone turned cold. Jane hadn't said anything about to her date, meaning she wasn't jealous. Maybe there wasn't much hope after all and nothing could make her feel worse than that.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jane knew that the question shouldn't have taken her aback -and it didn't- but the change in attitude and tone that Maura had used did it for her.

"Nothing," she lied, "I was just saying. Ask her out."

Jane look at the ground again, "I think she has plans for today."

"You never know if you never ask."

_I just did._ "Right."

"Well, good luck then," Maura said and put a hand on Jane's arm as she passed by, "I'll see you tomorrow." And then she was gone.

* * *

The thing was that "I see you tomorrow" never came.

That Saturday Jane got up early to go pick up Maura at her place for her morning run, but when she was leaving her apartment received a text from Maura saying that she was too tired to go out for a run and was going to try to sleep a little more. Jane got angry and throws her phone to the couch, where she spent the rest of the day watching movies and ignoring every single call.

On Sunday she did the same. She didn't even check her phone to see who had called the previous day and was planning on ignoring everything today too. It was probably her mother who had called anyway and she would see her that night at Sunday dinner, where she would also see Maura, so she was hoping for her anger to be over by then.

It wasn't relevant anyway because Maura didn't show up to her mother's house. When she asked her Ma about her, she said that Maura had called her saying that she was sorry but she had other plans. Jane chose that moment to check her phone to see if Maura had called her as well or sent her a text to let her know about that change but was disappointed to see that, from all the calls she had, neither of them was from her friend.

And Jane was mad.

She was mad at herself for letting all of this get under her skin, but mostly she was mad at Maura. She had avoided her all week and had abandoned her on Friday, letting her know the same day. That never happened. She hadn't called on Saturday and didn't show up on Sunday. That never happened either. Jane wasn't asking to know everything that Maura did in her free time, but their relationship had always been one of telling almost everything. When one had a date, the other knew immediately. When one had other plans, the other always knew where she was. But now she didn't know anything.

Maura was avoiding her. And she was tired of it. And mad. _So_ mad.

* * *

Monday had come and Maura was heading to the elevator at the BPD hall when she spotted Jane sitting at the counter on the café playing absently with her cup of coffee while Angela was talking to a customer.

The blonde was well aware of what she had done in the weekend and she knew that at some point, she would have to face the detective, what better moment to do it now in front of other people when she knew that they wouldn't make a big scene?.

With that in mind, Maura give herself a pep talk, forced a smile on her face and approached her best friend at the café like nothing had happened.

"Hi." She said as she sat beside the brunette.

Jane barely turned her head to look at the side and after taking a sip of her coffee she nodded. That was all. A nod. Cold. She wasn't really in the mood to deal with this so early and without finishing her first cup of coffee.

Maura closed her eyes and sighed.

A silence passed between them and Maura realized that Jane wasn't going to initiate a conversation and if she herself didn't do it now, the detective will leave and the moment will be lost.

"So.." Maura said to break the ice, "movie night tomorrow?"

After the word left her lips, Maura realized that the conversation was like a déjà vu of Friday but with their roles reversed. She just expect a better result.

This time Jane didn't hesitate to answer. "You don't have a date?"

"Nope." She had a smile on her face. Even though she didn't really like the tone in her friend's voice, at least she had said something.

"So I am the next best thing?"

Maura blinked, the question taken her a back. "What?"

But Jane ignored her, took another sip of her coffee and when she spoke again, she did it with the mug still close her lips and holding it hard in a vain attempt to control her anger. "You don't have other plans either?"

Maura thought for a second what was going on. She was expecting an angry Jane, not this passive aggressive attitude and this kind of questions.

"No. I'd told you before if I was."

At this Jane put her coffee down hard and turned around to look at Maura. Her face was stoic, defiant. "Would you?"

"Of course I will," Maura said without even thinking her answer.

"Like you did it the weekend."

_Damn._ She didn't realize that what was said was the exact opposite of what she'd done and now she have to try to look for a reason to explain it to Jane without really telling her the truth. If she told the detective that the whole point of this was avoid her it would only complicate things for both of them.

The thing was that even though Maura was promised herself that she would avoid the detective as much as she could, deep down she knew that the task was harder than she thought and the weekend just served to prove it.

On Friday, as soon as the business part of the dinner was over she headed back to her house alone and poured some red wine as she read a medical journal. But she lost track of time and when she raised her head from the pages on her lap, she realized that it was 3 in the morning and she had a finished journal and an empty bottle of wine. That was what made her cancel her plans with Jane the next morning. The intention wasn't really ditch her friend, but you can blame the bottle of wine for that. After sending the text for Jane, she fell sleep again and when she woke up it was afternoon, clearly she'd taken advantage of her relaxed state of mind to sleep in and trying to rest a little. And Sunday was pretty much the same; she figured that if she missed one dinner at Angela's it wouldn't be like a big deal.

Even though she had said that she wouldn't talk to the detective, this weekend in particular had been more like an unconscious thing. She hadn't intended of avoid Jane, in an untypical Maura way, it just.. happened. And she let it be. She would have to deal with the consequences later.

_Now. _

"Jane-" But she didn't even get to think too much about what she needed to say before Jane closed her eyes and raised her hand to stop her.

"Don't, Maura." Her voice held a finality that tightened the knots on Maura's stomach until a point of hurt.

"What's going on? Why are you acting like this?" _Why are you asking this?_

"Are you kidding me?" Jane held her gaze with an incredulous face. "Maura you avoided me all the past week. When I asked you what was going on you told me nothing and that we were fine but then you canceled our plans at last minute. You didn't even tell me that you wouldn't be going to Sunday dinner!" She raised her voice a little and a few heads had turned to look at them. When she spoke again it was more like a whisper. "So forgive me if I get mad at you." She said sarcastically.

"Jane-" she tried again, but Jane cut her off.

"I'm busy tonight."

Maura was still stunned by this tone. She blinked a few times and then tilted her head and looked at Jane through her eyelashes, "are you telling me that just because I couldn't hang out with you the weekend?"

"Really? You think that I am that immature?" _Okay, maybe I am_.

Maura look at her tilting her head. She had thought the same.

Jane rolled her eyes. "No Maura, I'm not. I'm going to the Robber with Korsak and frost to celebrate that we close the case," she said nonchalantly.

"Really? That's wonderful!"

Jane looked at her, stoic. "Yes, it is." And without saying anything else she stood up and left.

Maura kept looking to where the detective had disappeared, her gaze fixed in her retracting figure and she was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't saw heard or Angela approaching her until the older woman put a hand on her shoulder.

"Maura, honey, are you okay?"

Maura blinked trying to focus and turned her head slightly to look at Angela, "Yes, I'm fine. Thank you." She said with a little smile that didn't convince anybody.

"Why don't we sit?" Angela said gesturing to an empty table nearby.

Maura nodded and followed her. They sat opposite to each other and Maura found herself incapable of looking into Angela's eyes. She wondered what expression she had on her face when Angela approached her and why she was asked to sit here.

She was starting to get nervous in front of the curious stare of the older woman, it felt intimidating. She started to play with her fingers, a nervous habit she had picked as a kid, and Angela reached to grab her hands and took them in both of hers.

"I'm going to try asking this again. Are you okay?"

Maura raised her head for a fraction of seconds and then looked down again, shook her head and tried to suppress her tears.

"Oh honey," Angela said standing up to sit next to the doctor and embrace her in a tight hug.

Maura didn't really like crying and even less doing in public, so she tried as hard as she could to stop. When she finally succeeded, Angela sat at the chair next to her as she wiped her eyes with her thumbs.

"Look, I know you are not going to tell me what's really going on, but I just need you to answer me a question." She waited until Maura looked at her in the eyes before continuing, "Is it about Jane?" At Maura silent nod, Angela sighed, "Then I think I have a pretty good idea."

Maura looks at her with wide eyes. _She can't really know. She wasn't being that obvious.. right?_

"Don't look at me like that. It's okay. I understand perfectly well what is happening with you two, but I'm not going to pretend that I understand why you two are being so stupid about it."

Now Maura was lost. "I think that we are not talking about the same thing," she said carefully.

Angela raised a finger. "I think that we are."

The medical examiner looked at her suspiciously. "Angela-"

"I don't get why you are trying so hard to deny your feelings," She said interrupting Maura. "I mean, they are pretty obvious to me."

_Okay, maybe they were talking about the same thing._

"Maura, you know that you are like a daughter to me, right?" The doctor gave a timid smiled and a nod. "And you know that I love you, right?" She nodded again. "Okay. Would you let me give you a Little advice?"

Since when did Angela ask if she could give an advice? Now Maura was a little afraid of what she was going to say, but she was too intrigued to decline.

"Uh, sure."

Angela took her hands again. "Someday you will meet a person with whom you won't have to pretend to be someone else, with whom you could talk for hours without getting bored, with whom you will have this unique trust like if you know each other from a lot of lives ago. You would do anything for that person, anything to make them smile. You'll quit all your fears for that person."

Maura found herself taken aback by this 'advice' but as Angela's words begin, she couldn't help but think of only one person.

"Someday you will meet a person that's going to change your life so much that you won't be able to live without them. Someday honey, you will meet your soul mate, your everything. And when you find someone like that, someone that you can hug and with whom you could close your eyes to everything else, you can consider yourself very lucky and you have to give everything for it."

Maura was listening very carefully. She was captivated by her own thoughts and the more she heard, the more convinced she was of who was that someone. It was like if Angela was describing her own feelings and now that she heard them out loud she realized that she couldn't remember feeling that way with anyone else even for a second.

"And if you already found that someone, if that someone is who I think it is, don't give up honey." Angela took her chin between her fingers to give emphasis, "You have to give everything. Everything, Maura. It doesn't matter how much will last. Even if it's minute or a day or the rest of your life. Believe me, it will be worth it."

They looked at each other for a little while and Angela moved her hands to wipe the couple of tears that were falling from the doctor's eyes. She had really grown to love the woman in front of her and her happiness was just as important as the happiness of any of her children. She just hoped that the message was clear.

"Okay?" She said, but her eyes had a thousand more questions written in them. And when Maura nodded, Angela just hoped that the doctor was able to read them all.

* * *

**A/N 2:** **Please let me know what you think :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Say Anything**

**Chapter 7**

**Disclaimer: Jane and Maura don't belong to me. I don't own anything. **

**A/N:**** I'm going to be honest, the true about this delay it's partly because I've been pretty unlucky this past year and ended up on an OR table more times that it should be legal and have spent months on really painful sessions of physical therapy, all this while still going to classes and practices at the hospital jumping with my crutches (you wouldn't believe the muscles I have in my arms now).**

**The other reason for this delay is that I didn't really feel like keep writing this. I received some pretty rude comments about last chapter and my lack of skills with English. I told you on the first chapter that English wasn't my first language and I was trying to do the best I could. I'm doing that, I'm really trying and if you think that is not enough it's okay, but there's no need to be so rude about it. **

**Anyway, I decided to write a couple more chapters of this to give it an end for respect of the people who are following it. I really appreciate all of you and your comments; they motivate me to continue this. **

**Now here's this, if you don't like it there's thousands of other stories out there for you, but if you do (I really hope you do) please review. Thank you :)**

* * *

Maura spent all her day in the morgue with Angela's words running in circles on her head. She knew that her feelings for Jane were hard to ignore, she would risk everything for her and would give up anything just to be with her for the rest of her life. Anything except her friendship.

She tried to ignore Jane hoping that it would make her feelings disappear, but that didn't work out well and she couldn't keep doing it. Not when that was what put her in this situation with Jane in the first place. Not when almost all her life revolve around the detective.

Jane was the most important person in her life and she was afraid that if a potential relationship with her didn't work, she wouldn't have anywhere or anyone to turn to. What she ignored though, was that she was the most important person on Jane's life too.

When it was getting late Maura decided it was time to go home. She was just gathering her things when there was a knock on the door and she turned around quickly hoping to see that wild mane by the door that made her knees go weak, but are was no such luck.

By the door it wasn't the wild mane she was expecting but the gray hair and warm smile of one older detective.

"Sergeant." She said with a smile on her face trying to hide her disappointment. "How can I help you?"

"May I come in?"

She hesitated for a second. "Uhm I was about to leave, but come in."

"Oh that's perfect, actually," he said as he walked into the office. "Frankie, Jane and I were heading to the Robber to celebrate that we finally close the case."

"So I heard, Jane mentioned it early. Congratulations."

She smiled politely at him but the old man dismissed it with a wave of his hand.

"Anyway, we couldn't have done it without you, so we were wondering if you would like to come. As always, you are more than welcome."

Maura considered it for a second. "When you say _we,_ of whom are we talking about exactly?"

He looked at him perplexed for a second. "Uhm, Frankie and I. Why?"

She smiled sadly and looked down, "Yeah, I suspected it".

"I'm sorry, there's something wrong?"

Since the doctor couldn't lie she decided to ignore the question. There was no point of trying to lie and end up with a neck full of hives and a million questions from the man.

"I'm sorry sergeant; I think that I'm going to pass the offer this time. This has been a long day so I'm a little tired and I have to work early tomorrow."

But Korsak notice that it was an excuse and there was something more behind it.

"Come on, it won't be too long, we all have to work tomorrow anyway. And it's been a while since you joined us the last time," he was quickly to add.

Indeed it had been a while. They didn't get to close a case when another was shoved on their faces and that leave them without any time to celebrate. And besides that, the medical examiner was working on other cases outside the homicide unit, so it had been a busy time lately.

She seemed to think about it for a moment until she finally sighed and walked to the couch, motioning to the older man to sit.

"Can I be honest with you?"

Korsak was a little taken aback by this, usually the medical examiner didn't talk too much and this was a yes or no kind of question, but he decided to sit anyway.

"Of course," he said with a smile.

Maura was trying to find the words to say what she wanted without sounding crazy while she played with the ring on her finger -a nervous habit she'd picked a while ago- until she finally spoke.

"I really want to go with you, but Jane and I aren't in a good place right now and I'm not sure if it's best if I go." She sighed and looked down, saying the last part like a whisper. "I don't want to bother her anymore."

She wasn't even sure why she told that to the older man, but he seems to care about them a lot, so maybe he could help. Maybe.

He smiled again and then he sighed and rubbed his temples. "God, you both are so stupid."

"I beg your pardon?" Maura was stunned and Korsak laughed.

"Sorry, I didn't mean it like that. It's just.. You are so ridiculous that you can't see what's in front of your eyes."

"I still not sure I understand what are you talking about." She blinked.

Korsak chuckled. "It doesn't matter. Every day I'm more convinced that things will fall in place really soon."

With every sentence he spoke Maura was more confused but before she could ask the sergeant again, he spoke.

"Look, come with us tonight. I promise I'll control Jane if she gives you a hard time."

And she wanted to say no. Oh how she wanted to say no! But he was looking at her with such a hopeful smile that she wasn't able to do it.

And deep down.. She was dying to go.

* * *

When they arrived at the Robber neither Jane nor Frankie had arrived yet because they had to give the report of the case to Cavanaugh, according to Korsak. So the sergeant and the medical examiner took their usual boot and a waitress came soon to take their orders, Korsak choosing beer and Maura a glass of red wine. Of course.

They made small talk and Maura was having a real good time with the older man, but a part of her was dreading the moment that Jane arrived, she didn't really want to ruin the detective night nor didn't want her own night to end up in a bad way. She had had enough about that already and it was getting kind of tiring.

Half an hour had passed when the bell above the door sounded, but Korsak and Maura were laughing at a story the sergeant was telling so neither of them heard it. Until a shadow posed over their table and someone cleared her throat.

"What are you doing here?" Said a raspy and deep voice, cutting short the medical examiner laugh and making the tension grew immediately.

"She helped us to close this case so I invited her." Korsak spoke before Maura had the time to do it. "Is there a problem?". He asked looking at Jane with a stern expression of her face.

But before that Jane could respond, Frankie appeared behind her without acknowledging the situation and he greeted the doctor with a wide grin.

"Maura! How great you could join us!" And he went to take a sit next to Korsak -as always, leaving the sit next to the doctor to Jane- but the detective beat him to it when he began to move, so he sat next to Maura without giving it a second thought. He didn't give more than a brief weird look to Jane.

But this scene didn't go unnoticed to Maura, who looked down to try to hide the disappointment of her face and when she thought she has done it successfully she raised her head to find Korsak in front of her giving her a sympathetic smile.

"The waitress seems busy; I'm going to go pick a beer. You guys want anything?"

"I'm good", Korsak said, raising his beer.

"Maura you want a refill?" Frankie asked when he notice the glass of wine almost empty.

She smiled at the gesture. "Thank you, Frankie, but I'm fine. I think I'll be heading home soon anyway." She added that last part looking at Jane but the detective keep eating peanuts without paying attention.

"Jane?" But she was so engrossed on ignoring her friend that she didn't heard when her brother spoke either.

"Jane?" Nothing.

"Jane!"

"What?!" And it seemed like she spoke a little (a lot) louder that she intended to because the few people around them turn to look their way, which made her think that this wasn't the first time that her brother was calling her name.

"I'm sorry." She closed her eyes and rubbed her temples. "What were you saying?"

"I just wanted to ask you if you wanted a beer, but if I knew that you were going to be so rude I would have got just one for me." Frankie said with a teasing tone.

"I course I want one," she said coldly. "Why would I be here if I didn't?"

Frankie looked at her for a moment, stunned at her harsh tone.

"Are you okay?" He asked with a worried tone in his voice.

"Perfect," she said with a fake smile. "Now, are you going to get that beer or should I get one myself?"

Frankie raised his hands in surrender and went to the bar leaving an uncomfortable silence behind.

Jane didn't wanted to talk because she was mad that Maura was there. Maura didn't want to talk afraid of what her friend's answer may be and Korsak couldn't talk because he couldn't think of a topic to break the ice. So the silence on the table remained until Frankie came back with two beers and more peanut.

"I'm so glad you wait for me to start a conversation," he -again- didn't notice what was going on so his tone was teasing, but when he looked around and his three friends were distracted without looking at each other the smile faded from his face.

"Ooookay," he said slowly. "Can someone tell me what is going on?"

"Why would you ask that? We are perfectly fine, in a friendly environment, just three friends enjoying the silence." Korsak said putting emphasis on friendly and looking at Jane

"Yeah," she said mocking him. "We are perfectly fine."

Frankie looked from Korsak to Jane and he sighed.

"Okay, I know that something is going on and there's something behind your words but I'm too tired of thinking and I really don't wanna do it anymore, so I'm going to ignore your innuendo," he said with a smile.

"So, Maura," he said, catching the attention of the blond who was passing her fingers absently on the edge of her glass. "I heard that you had quite a busy week."

"Yes, it was actually really busy, but nothing I couldn't manage."

Her answer was greeted by a snort from Jane, who tried to pass it for a cough when she received stern looks from her two partners.

"You were working on something with the governor this week, right?" Korsak said trying to keep the conversation.

"She always does." Jane murmured, like it wasn't a big deal.

Maura looks at Jane with an unreadable expression on her face

"Yes, I always do. But this week beside of asking me to help him with some cases outside BPD like he usually does, we were working on some administrative items regarding the office and staff as well but -like I said- it was nothing I couldn't manage."

Frankie let out a chuckle. "And here we were telling we were tired when you had way more work to us."

"Make her a monument now." Jane murmured again.

If her plan was trying to infuriate the other three people on the table, she was doing it successfully with flying colors. Korsak and Frankie turned to look at her in disbelief; neither of them liked the tone the detective was using with the blonde woman. She was being mad and mean to Maura for no reason.

"What's wrong with you?" Frankie asked. He had seen the two women argue before but this tone form Jane was something else.

"Me? You are the one flattering her excessively, almost worshiping the floor she's walking!"

"What?" Frankie asked, perplexed.

"Come one, she's the ME! We were the detectives on this case and most of the others, we do the hard work, she just helps us a little, but it's OUR work!"

"Jane!" Korsak he was quickly to stop her, she had crossed a line.

Maura has tears in her eyes bit she didn't let them fall. She understood Jane's bad mood, but this was a whole new level. She didn't deserve been treated like that, and especially not from Jane. As much as she loved her, as much as it hurt hearing those things, she wouldn't let it happen again.

"No sergeant, don't bother. I'm going to leave, this was a bad idea."

"Maura I'm so sorry." He said with pleading eyes and a really apologetic tone.

She gave him a sad smile, "It's not your fault, Vince."

When she tried to move she looked at Frankie who was sitting next to her and blocking her way but when she asked him to stand up so she can leave he didn't listened to her. He was still looking at Jane with a disbelieving face, trying to figure it out her sister but nothing came up to his head. And Jane didn't dare to look at him either; she just looked down and kept eating peanuts waiting for the doctor to leave.

When he felt a finger poking him lightly in the arm he realized that the doctor was trying to move so he stood up to let her stand up as well.

Maura looked at him with a sad smile and said goodbye to him and Korsak.

When she had already walked out the door, Frankie was still on his feet leaning on the back of the boot thinking. The way her sister had talked to Maura was still a shock for him.

"Are you going to sit or-" Korsak asked him, but Frankie just raised his hand to stop him from keep talking.

He shook his head and took a couple of steps to be closer to the table; he put his hand on it and leaned his face closer to Jane's.

"I don't know what's going on and I'm not going to keep pretending that I understand you because I don't," he hissed. "I don't care what is your problem with the doctor but I doubt that she deserve that treatment from you. I almost never get mad at you since we grew up, but you stepped way over your boundaries tonight. We were raised better than this." He straightened back again and turned to walk away but he came back just a second later. "And I would like to see you trying to solve a case without 'the little help' of the ME." And then he left, slamming the door of the bar.

There was silence on the table. Jane was stunned at Frankie's words, but she was too mad and proud to recognize he was right even though deep down she already knew it.

"Aren't you going to leave too?" Jane mumbled to the only man left with her.

"Well, I could but you are blocking my way." When she started to move to stand up he grabbed her by the arms softly. "Sit down, I was kidding."

"So you are not going to leave?"

"No, I'm going to sit here and wait for you to give me a good excuse to why you treat the doctor like that." Korsak's voice was firm but her tone mad it look like he was open to hear what she had to say.

"I.. I don't know." Jane sighed. " I didn't mean to be so harsh, I am mad at her, but no _that_ mad. I'm not sure what happened."

Korsak put a hand on her shoulder and sighed too. "Well, at least you see what the problem is".

Jane blinked a couple of times letting the weight of her actions fall on her shoulders and the sting in her eyes to pass. She closed her eyes letting the tears fall and put her head on the older detective's shoulder.

"I screwed up again, didn't I?

* * *

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**A/N 2:** **I know it's a short chapter, but I'm almost done with the next one already. Just trust me in this and please let me know what you think.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Say Anything**

**Chapter 8**

**Disclaimer: Jane and Maura don't belong to me. I don't own anything. **

**A/N:**** I really have no words for all the kindness and encouragement you all showed me on your reviews and PMs. Thank you thank you thank you so much to everyone. **

**I hope you like this one. Any mistakes just let me know.**

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* * *

Jane was at her house sitting on the couch with the tv on but she had no idea what was in it. She couldn't stop thinking about Maura and how much she had hurt her. She hadn't intended to, it just.. Happened. _Like everything else._

They were spinning on circles again and it was almost ridiculous how this was starting to look a lot like a high school drama.

After much thought and play with the phone on her hands she decided to call her best friend. She pressed call and waited for an answer while she was biting her nails. After a couple of second that felt like hours, Maura's voicemail came in. She hadn't answered.

Jane cut the call and dialed again. And again. And again and always ended up with a voicemail until finally it didn't even ring, it went straight to voicemail. Maura had turned her phone off. She didn't want to talk to her. She had really screwed up.

* * *

Meanwhile, at the other part of town the medical examiner laid on her bed with red eyes, a soaked pillow where her head was resting and tears were still running through her cheeks, looking at the table beside her bed where her phone was vibrating on silence and lighting with the picture of her friend, then disappearing only to show up again after a couple of seconds.

But she didn't want to answer. She didn't want to talk to Jane. She had no more energy to fight, she had done it all day and she didn't want to do it anymore.

Besides, what would Jane want? Yell a little more at her? Reproach her a little more? Belittle her work a little more? No. She was too tired to do this now. She reached out her phone and turned it off, rolling around and trying to sleep.

She was definitely too tired.

* * *

Maura woke up the next day with sore eyes and killing headache. The last time she remember a pain like this was when she was like 8 years old because she caught a virus that took her unguarded and she wasn't able to attend some science fair on her school and she spend the afternoon crying in the arms of her nanny because her parents were on a business trip somewhere in the world.

And she knew that this pain was due to all the crying she had done last night and she knew that her emotional state wasn't any better now and it wasn't helping at all.

She'd never asked for a personal day at work but today she just couldn't go, there was no way that she could get anything done with her head like this, so she called the office and let them know that she was sick and to please don't bother her unless it was completely necessary. She was planning to sleep all day, that was the only way this could pass and it also worked to forget about yesterday's event even for a little while.

* * *

Jane –on the other hand- wasn't any different than Maura. She came to the precinct with red eyes and dark circles under her eyes because she'd spent the night turning around in her bed without able to sleep just thinking of a way to fix the situation with Maura and put an end to this vice circle they seem to be in.

Today has the prospect of being a really shitty day and even though she was dying to go to the morgue and talk to her friend, she didn't want it to be at work because she wanted to do it with no rush and without someone interrupting them every 5 seconds, so she was praying to not run into her on the bullpen or the café when she went to talk to her mother.

"Hi, Ma." She said walking to the counter.

"Hi, Janie. Grab a sit and I'll prepare you some breakfast." The old woman answered as she said as told, wying her daughter carefully. "How are you feeling?"

Jane sighed. "Fine."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, Ma. Just tired." The brunette answered rubbing her eyes.

"Okay," Angela said raising her hands and decided to change the topic. "Have you talked to Maura this morning? Is she feeling better?"

Jane frowned and stared at her mother. "No, I haven't talked to her today. What do you mean with 'is she feeling better´?

Angela stopped what she was doing. "What do _you_ mean you haven't talk to her _today_? Why haven't you? She didn't come to work today because she wasn't feeling well. She didn't let you know?"

"I just told you I haven't talked to her!" Jane was starting to become restless and raised her voice, noticing that it was a little _too_ loud and took a second to calm herself. "Was she sick? What happened to her?"

"She's _your_ best friend and you didn't think of calling her?"

"It's not like we talk to each other _all_ day." Jane mumbled and Angela just tilted her head, looked at her daughter and waited until Jane spoke again. "Okay, maybe we do but not today." And Angela kept waiting for the brunette to continue. Jane sighed. "We had a little disagreement but it was my entire fault. I treated her badly and I tried to call her yesterday but she didn't answer and now I haven't even tried because I know I did wrong but I don't know how to apologize or even if she will accept my apologies."

All through this words Angela was just thinking of slapping Jane in her head and force her to go see her friend, but looking at her daughter's face she just couldn't do it. It was evident that this was really affecting her and the last thing she did was being reprimanded when she was already feeling down. _Even though she deserve it._

"Oh baby," she finally said turning around the counter and going to sit beside her daughter. "The best way you could start your apology right now is taking care of her. She really didn't look good this morning."

"What happened to her, Ma?"

"I'm not sure, Jane." Angela started. "When I went out of the house to come to work this morning and I saw her car still on the driveway, I thought it was weird because usually she's long gone by the time I came here, so I got worried and went to check on her but I found her on her bed with closed curtains, the sheets to her ears and she was trembling even though she was all sweating and warm."

She explained while Jane was playing close attention to her.

"I've never seen her like this, she looked so sick, Jane. I asked her what happened and she said that she had a killer headache and had taken some strong painkillers otherwise she was going to throw up. I put a cold towel on her forehead and let her rest but I'm still worried. She never gets sick and when she does she always says is less than it actually is, so for her to tell me how she was, she must be feeling pretty bad."

Jane listened carefully to her mother until she stopped talking.

"Thank you for telling me, Ma." She said, give Angela a kiss on her cheek and run out of the café straight to the elevator.

Once she stepped out of the elevator into her foot she walked to Cavanaugh's office to tell him she had to go because Maura was sick and she really needed her. Her boss didn't even thought on deny her permission and let her go, telling her to not come back till next day.

She ran to her car and stepped in, racing to get to Maura and hating herself for being so stupid and let it go this far, so far that her _best_ friend didn't even tell her that she was sick. This whole thing was getting the better of both of them and it was getting messier by the second. It has to stop and it has to stop now.

Jane was willing to put all her feelings aside or bury them again deep within herself if that was what it took to have Maura back because having her as her friend was way better than not having her at all. She just hoped that it wasn't too late and Maura was willing to forgive her stupid behavior.

* * *

It seems like hours had passed since she left the precinct and parked on the driveway of Maura's house when it actually had just been a couple of minutes. She had passed all the speed limits without even noticing.. Not that she would have stepped down if she _did_ have noticed.

She ran to the door and she was surprised -happily surprised- to realize that the door was locked, it means that the blonde had finally listened to her or that she had locked the door because she didn't want her to come in, but Jane thought that this last hypothesis was stupid because she had a key. Also, she didn't want to think that her best friend actually didn't want to see her.

Jane ran back to her car to look for the keys that were given to her years ago but she rarely got to use.

When she got inside she was fighting with herself to not start yelling Maura's name because on one hand she desperately wanted to know where the doctor was, but on the other hand she didn't wanted to wake her if she was sleeping.

She went upstairs and walked directly to her friend's bedroom. Once in there, she found her just as her mother had described her: sleeping with a hard expression on her face, the blankets wrapped around her up to her nose and an already dried towel on her forehead.

She stepped closer in silence. She was dying to talk to Maura but -again- she didn't want to wake her. Her friend needed to rest more that she needed to speak to her right now, so she carefully took the small towel from Maura's forehead and put her hand on her forehead to take her temperature; she winced as soon as her palm touched the doctor's skin. She wasn't running a fever but it was definitely too warm.

She went to the bathroom and put the small towel on cold water, removed the excess of water and went back to Maura's bedroom to put it on her forehead again, noticing how instantly her face relaxed a little.

Jane stood there just looking at Maura and -not for the first time- she found herself amazed at how beautiful her best friend was; even with her pale face, lips pursed, her slightly red cheeks, her forehead sweating and her blonde curls stuck on it. She thought it was simply adorable and she was so in love with her.

She lifted her hand and carefully moved those strands of hair out of the blonde's face tracing the tip of her fingers slowly from her forehead to her nose and lips until they reached her chin and then went up again to her cheeks and allowed her palm to rest on her friend's warm cheek for a while, feeling Maura's head tilt a little to lean into it, until the doctor accommodated her body and Jane froze thinking that she had waked her up but the blonde just shifted and continued sleeping, so Jane decided to avoid the risk and leave her to rest.

She went downstairs and started pacing around the kitchen wondering what she could do to help Maura, trying to remember what her mother used to do for her when she was sick as a little girl until finally she remembered: Soup! That's what her mother always did and it always made her feel better and it probably would help Maura too since she guessed that it was highly probably that doctor hadn't ate anything yet.

The only problem was that she had no idea how to make soup so she had no other choice to call her mother to ask her, even though she knew she would have to answer a hundred of question first before actually getting the recipe.

Just as she had guessed, that's_ exactly_ what happened. Angela asked how Maura was, if she was taking care of her and all that kind of things until Jane finally cut her off and tell her the real reason why she had called.

Angela was beaming as she told Jane how to make her soup step by step so her daughter wouldn't mess it up. Jane wrote everything down and after saying goodbye to her mother and assure her that she wouldn't leave the house until she was sure the blonde was fine, she began to look for everything to start cooking, which wasn't that hard since Maura had everything on her kitchen.

Half an hour has passed and she was done, the soup didn't have exactly the same savor as her Ma's did, but it was pretty close and it was tasty so she was happy with it.

After that she went upstairs to check on Maura and the doctor was still sleeping, so she went back downstairs to not bother her and decided to rest on the living room for a while waiting for her to wake up.

* * *

Maura woke up to the smell of soup on her house. She guessed that probably Angela was downstairs cooking, but when she looked at clock on her bedside table she realized that was not possible since the woman was supposed to be still working at the BPD's cafe. She also noticed that the towel on her forehead was wet and still cold, which was not possible since it had been hours since she fell asleep and it should have dried or warm up by now.

Then she remembered that she let the front door of her house locked and there was only one person who had keys and probably wouldn't appear by her house anytime soon and just the thought of it brought a pain to her head again.

Slowly, she massaged her temples until the pain subsided and she was able to get up to check who was downstairs.

When she entered to the kitchen the first thing she saw was the source of the smell on the house, it smelled exactly like Angela's so probably the woman had come back again while she was sleeping to bring her food, but when she grabbed a spoon to taste it she notice that it was slightly different from the one the older woman usually makes, but it was still good and she was really hungry so she grabbed a plate and pour some into it and she went to sit on the counter to eat.

She was blowing some of it from the spoon when she looked up and saw a pair of familiar boots by the couch. Her heart speeded up immediately as she stood up and walked around the couch to found the figure of her detective lying on the couch. Scratch that. _THE _detective, not hers_._ The brunette sleeping peacefully currently on her couch wasn't hers. She had to make a mental note of that.

Maura debated with herself for a second about wake up her friend or let her sleep. She was sure that Jane wasn't getting enough sleep if the bags and dark circles under her eyes were any indication, but she also thought that Jane has probably fell asleep waiting for her so if she was awake now, the logical thing was to let the detective know. Besides, her neck was in a weird position and Maura didn't know how much time she has been sleeping the same way so it might be sore when the brunette woke up.

The decision wasn't hard after that thought. She put her hand on the brunette's arm and shook it softly.

"Jane," she whispered but the detective didn't even move, so she tried again a little harder and whispered closer to her ear. "Jane, wake up, it's me."

The brunette moved and opened her eyes trying to focus on the figure next to her face.

"Hey," she said blinking a couple of times. Her voice was deep and hoarse and sent chills down Maura's spine.

"Hey," the blonde replied.

"You woke up." Jane stated as a matter of fact as she tried to sit.

"I did," Maura said without removing her hand from her friend's arm.

"How are you feeling?"

They were still whispering, like if talking louder could burst the peace bubble they seem to be into in this instant.

"Better."

"Are you sure?" Jane said as she tried to stand up but Maura stopped her with her hand still on her arm.

"Jane."

"Do you need something? I made you soup." The brunette said quickly, trying again to stand up in vain.

Maura's felt something warm inside of her at her friend's concern and the fact that she had cooked for her. Jane, the woman who eats olives with ketchup because she didn't want to, didn't like to or couldn't even cook a thing even if her life depended on it.

"Jane." Maura said again, putting those thoughts aside and speaking this time in her normal tone of voice.

The brunette finally quit her tries to stand up and sighed. "What?"

"What are you doing here?" The blonde said sitting on the couch next to her friend.

"Ma told me you were sick. I got worried and came to check on you." Jane replied as she grabbed the warm hand that was still resting on her arm.

Maura looked at her hands. "Shouldn't you be working now?" She said without taking her eyes away.

"I talked to Cavanaugh and asked him to give me a couple of hours to check on you and he told me to come here and take care of you and not go back to work until tomorrow."

Now Maura raised her head and looked at her friend as it looking for something but she wasn't sure what. Jane held her gaze and she could've swear that she saw the brunette's eyes flicked to her lips, but she didn't want that kind of thoughts now. "Why did you come here, Jane?"

"I already told you," Jane said quickly. "I wanted to check on you."

But the blonde just stared at her like she was waiting for something else. They weren't fine and she didn't understand why Jane was here after how she treated her the last time they saw each other that night at The Robber.

An explanation. That was what Maura was waiting for.

Sensing this, Jane decided to put her pride aside to apologize, after all, she was the one to blame for making Maura feel bad both emotionally and physically and she couldn't keep hurting her friend like this, not when she was the person she loved most in the world. She needed to apologize. Maura deserved that. _That and so much more._

"Look, Maura," she begun, taking the warm hand that was still resting below her own and turned it up to interlace their finger together. "I know I made a mistake, I really screwed up and treated you bad and-"

"-badly." Maura couldn't help but correct her, but with one look of her friend she made a motion with her lips signaling she was going to be quiet now and Jane chuckled slightly.

"I won't try to justify it because I'm not even sure why I did it, but I-" this was the hardest part. She took a breath and look at her friend in the eyes. "I'm so sorry, Maura. I know I made you feel _badly_ and I'm so sorry."

Maura kept a neutral face and Jane started to get worried.

"You know, I've spend a great part of my life bearing with people who thought they had the right to treat me however they wanted with their words. But a few years back I promised myself that I wouldn't allow it anymore, I wouldn't give anyone the power to walk over me and make me feel bad. Until you came along."

She smiled sadly at her friend and Jane was starting to feel restless and even guiltier with every word.

"And you didn't even ask for permission, you just burst in and suddenly you had all that power and at the beginning I was afraid but then I was fine with it because I trusted you to not abuse of it, but you did. That's why what you did hurt me so much."

"Maura, I'm really sorry-". Jane interrupted her but the blonde just raised her hand because she wasn't done talking.

"I won't tell you 'it's okay' because it's not, but I'm aware that this wasn't completely your fault. I made some mistakes too and even though they don't justify the way you treated me, I'll accept my part of the fault. So I forgive you, at least this time. But as much as it hurts me, I won't allow it again." She said looking pointedly at the brunette.

And Jane let out a sigh of relief because -at some point- she thought that this was going in other direction and Maura wouldn't forgive her. She found herself afraid as she realized right then that she wouldn't know what to do if that had been the case.

"It won't. I swear I'll try my best to not let it happen again. And I'm sorry if I broke your trust, I guess I didn't realize the weight of my actions in the moment."

They looked at each other for a minute, the heavy part of the conversation had already passed and Maura was happy to have been able to get everything out of her chest. Well, not everything, but that was another conversation for another day, if not for another life.

"And before I forget, I need you to know that it will never matter how stupid I am and act or how ridiculously mad I get for some stupid reasons, I will never, never not worry about you." Jane said squeezing her friend hand.

"Thank you." Maura replied as she came closer to Jane and wrapped her arms around her and she finally allowed herself to let out a sigh of relief. It felt safe. And even though she wished she could do much more than just hug the brunette and put her hand on her back, right now she was happy just feeling Jane snuggling her face on the curve of her neck as she squeezed her softly.

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**A/N 2:** **I took and consideration all of your comments and ideas and I hope you liked the result. I'm not done with this story yet, we still have a pending confession, after all. **

**Please review and let me know what you think!:)**


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